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Why Did I Hate The Baby I Always Had Wanted at Fifteen?
The following story was submitted anonymously on Nov. 9, 2003.
The names have been changed to protect the author's privacy.

I just wanted to tell you my story.

When I was 13 I was a nobody. I had nobody either, just one friend who always got picked on.
At the time I was in year 9 I didn't go to school much and when I did I didn't learn anything. Then one day a really fit lad walked into the class room. After that I would go to school to get his attention and one night while ice-skating in hull I got him to notice me. the next week I got an old friend to ask him out for me. I didn't go to school in case he said no, but a week later he called and asked me out. We went out for a year and a half, on and off, and we started having sex when I was 13 and he was 14. I was desperate for a baby: someone to love and someone to love me back.

A year later I still wasn't pregnant though I knew there was plenty of time, so one day my ex boyfriend begged me to go to his house. He made me miss my school bus so I would have to go on his. He raped me that night. I was too terrified to tell anyone. When my period didn't come a couple of months later I was terrified. I loved my b/f so much, I couldn't tell him or anyone and I didn't. I went to the doctors and they said I was 6 months pregnant. I thought my life was over, I tried to overdose. At 8 months pregnant my b/f's mum noticed my bump. I went along with everything treating every day like a daze. A month and 2 weeks later they induced me and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy (Ryan 6pound 7oz) perfect and so tiny. I got thrown out of my Mum's, had to live with my boyfriend and his parents. He was great, always apologizing and playing with Ryan, taking him out, getting up in the night with him, dressing him in the mornings, bathing him, feeding him, everything - yet something was bugging me inside (my baby was a rape child not Scott's little man).

I began to hate Ryan despise him. Every smile he gave me I would hate him that bit more, until one day I snapped, "he's not your son, Scott." I spilled my heart out. The lad who raped me confessed all to the police and was sent to a juvenile prison.

But an unexpected turn happened. A dank blood test revealed Scott was Ryan's dad. I had never been so happy; I must have of calculated my days wrong.

Now I'm 19 and have a beautiful little girl, Jade. She's 10 months now and Ryan's 4. We're all great and Scott and I are happy and engaged as well. We have our own flat. This just shows you happy endings can happen.

Thank you for reading loves Kelly.
TAKE CARE. -x-x-x-x-
(I didn't change names as I wanted to thank everyone in my life and all my friends for being so supportive of me).

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