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  LiveWire / My Forums / Viewing Story

Why Didn't I Fight?
The following story was submitted anonymously on Jan. 29, 2006.
The names have been changed to protect the author's privacy.

When I was merely seven years old, my stepbrother was babysitting me. I remember eating pancakes (and since then, eating pancakes brings back this memory). After I'd finished, I went to my room. My 18 year-old stepbrother followed me in and thereupon ordered me to strip off my clothes. I was so confused and scared, I succumbed to his instructions; I did not fight back. I did not mention this experience to anyone, until about two years ago. At that point, only my mom and I knew of my secret, but we decided to avoid going to trial--no evidence, no witnesses...he never went to jail. Now, he's engaged and soon to be maried. I fear for his future children--will he rape them, too? I may have told my mom about the incident so long ago, but I've never revealed my truest, deepest feelings regarding that day; and now, every moment seems like torture. My depression has led to cutting, but I have managed to stop for five weeks now. I know I should seek help, but I'm so scared. Nonetheless, I am working to make myself stronger.

Please...if you're reading this, do not hold in your emotions--tell someone, get help. If you've just been raped, report it immediately, if not for your own good, at least for someone else's.



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