WARNING: Extremely Graphic
I had been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I thought that we were in love. He was never abusive or controlling. He was always so sweet and considerate. I had girls at school telling me to be careful around him, but because I thought I loved him I ignored them.
We were in his bedroom doing homework and occasionally kissing, but not enough to give him the idea of having sex. His parents were not home, though they trusted us. I wasn't planning on having sex with anyone until I got married, I wanted that first night to be special to me. That's a bit too late for me now, isn't it?
He leaned over to kiss me on the cheek and I leaned away to avoid, thinking he was playing around. He took it as I didn't want to kiss him and pulled me by the arm to him so he could kiss me. I didn't think anything of it, but looking back I know that I should have taken it as a warning signal. We made out, innocently, for a few minutes and he had his hands on my hips holding me to him which I didn't have a problem with. Until he flipped me onto my back and was on top of me. We was obviously larger than me, and it was hard to fight him off.
He pulled off his own shirt and grabbed my hand, making me run it up and down along his chest and stomach. Then he made me undo his jeans and shoved my hand inside to rub against his erection. I was scared, I didn't know what he was doing or why he was doing that. He finally released my hand, but kept me pinned down as he pulled off his jeans and boxers. He then ripped my shirt off, leaving it torn and ruined. He pulled my bra off and by that time, I was crying trying to tell him to stop. He slapped me across the face a few times and shoved his underwear in my mouth to keep me quiet. My hands were tied behind my back so I couldn't take it out and almost choked to death. He moved down and started sucking and licking my nipples, and when I tried to scream through the gag, he bit them drawing blood.
I was shaking so hard that it probably looked like I was having a seizure, but I was so scared. I didn't know if I was going to live or if he was going to kill me after.
He roughly took off my jeans and panties, raking his nails along my legs leaving marks. I didn't shave my pubic hair, which gave him something else to hurt me with. He pulled out more than half of what I have, some of which has not grown back yet to this day. I bled from that too. He forced me to have the most horrible orgasms through oral sex which I hated. I hated that I couldn't help what my body did or what he did. After about a half an hour of forcing me to orgasm and forcing me to blow him off, he finally got down to business. He wasn't a small guy either, I'm estimating between 8 to 9 inches long. He didn't ease into it either. He violently ripped through my hymen, making me bleed for the 3rd time that day. All I could do was lay there and take it, even though I didn't want it. I felt horrible, dirty, and disgusting as he pounded away my innocence which I prided so much of. Finally, and thankfully he finished, breaking through my cervix and ejaculating into my womb. He got up, dressed and threw my clothes at me. He took me by the throat and threatened me with my life if I told anyone what happened.
I'm still healing emotionally, mentally and physically. I still have the scars on my breasts and the loss of pubic hair is still present. Everyday gets easier and my baby is helping that too.