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|Helping People with Decision Making
Republished with permission from the Whitman College Peer Listener Handbook
Note: The handbook is an excellent resource, especially when listening in person,
however it does not perfectly mesh with LiveWire's "Peer Answers" philosophy.
As a listener, your responsibility is to help the person find their own solution. You do not give advice or tell them what to do. Use the decision-making model with open questions.
- What's the problem?
- How do you want this situation to change?
- So what's bothering you is...
- What have you tried already?
- What are you thinking about doing?
- Have you ever been in this situation before? What did you do?
- What else do you think you could do?
- Could anyone else help you with this?
- What have others you've talked with suggested?
- What do you think would happen if you...
- What might keep you from trying...
- What would other people say/do if you did that?
- What do you see that's good about that idea?
- What do you see that's bad about that idea?
- That sounds like you think it will work right now. What might happen in the long run if you did that?
- On the other hand, ____________________ might also happen.
- What do you think feels best?
- What do you think you should do?
- What are other people telling you to do?
- What would you be comfortable trying?
- How are you feeling about... ?
- Do you want me to go with you to _________________?
- Can I help you to do _________________?
- When do you think you'll try this?
- If it's okay with you, I'd like to check back with you to see how you're doing?
Remember to used open questions and listening skills throughout the discussion.
- What worked?
- What did not worked?
- What can you do differently to make the plan go better?
Things to Avoid
- You should...
- If I were you, I'd...
- Why don't you...
- It's easy!
- When this happened to me I...
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