Republished with permission from the Whitman College Peer Listener Handbook Note: The handbook is an excellent resource, especially when listening in person, however it does not perfectly mesh with LiveWire's "Peer Answers" philosophy.
Dr.'s D'Andrea and Salovey (1983) created a practical and useful model for dealing directly with the emotions that a client expresses to a Peer Listener. The steps are as follows:
Ask feeling questions
How do you feel about that?
How does that make you feel?
How do you feel?
What feelings does it bring up in you?
Paraphrase spoken feelings
So, you are feeling___, is that right?
Sounds like you are really __________.
Define and clarify feelings
Elicit feelings that accompany the one that is primarily expressed.
Discover the individual's personal experience of a given feeling (what does the person mean when she/he says, "I feel _________?")
Acknowledging the feelings
Assist your peer in taking responsibility for her/his feelings.
Reinforce your peer for stating his/her feelings in a direct, personal way.
Deal with feelings
Relate thoughts to feelings
Further express feelings.
Help your peer express "repressed" feelings through open ended questions.