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  LiveWire / My Forums / Viewing Peer Listener Handbook

Roadblocks to Effective Communication
Republished with permission from the Whitman College Peer Listener Handbook
Note: The handbook is an excellent resource, especially when listening in person,
however it does not perfectly mesh with LiveWire's "Peer Answers" philosophy.
  1. Advising, giving solutions or suggestions

    "I think you should..."
    "Maybe you could..."

  2. Lecturing, giving logical arguments; trying to influence others with facts, logic, or your own opinion.

    "Communication is really important. If you don't talk to him, you'll never work things out."

  3. Judging, criticizing, blaming

    "Well maybe you shouldn't..."

  4. Praising

    "I think you're pretty!"

  5. Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing; communicating that you have the other person figured out

    "You feel that way because you..."

  6. Talking the other person out of their feelings

    "Don't worry, you'll feel better after a good sleep"
    "There are other fish in the sea. He wasn't good enough for you anyway."

  7. Interrogating; trying to find reasons, motives, causes; searching for more facts

    "When did you start feeling this way?"

  8. Withdrawing, distracting, sarcasm, humoring, diverting; trying to get your peer away from the problem; withdrawing from the problem yourself.

    "You'll probably look back at all this and laugh..."

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