|Roadblocks to Effective Communication
Republished with permission from the Whitman College Peer Listener Handbook
Note: The handbook is an excellent resource, especially when listening in person,
however it does not perfectly mesh with LiveWire's "Peer Answers" philosophy.
- Advising, giving solutions or suggestions
"I think you should..."
"Maybe you could..."
- Lecturing, giving logical arguments; trying to influence others with facts, logic, or your own opinion.
"Communication is really important. If you don't talk to him, you'll never work things out."
- Judging, criticizing, blaming
"Well maybe you shouldn't..."
"I think you're pretty!"
- Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing; communicating that you have the other person figured out
"You feel that way because you..."
- Talking the other person out of their feelings
"Don't worry, you'll feel better after a good sleep"
"There are other fish in the sea. He wasn't good enough for you anyway."
- Interrogating; trying to find reasons, motives, causes; searching for more facts
"When did you start feeling this way?"
- Withdrawing, distracting, sarcasm, humoring, diverting; trying to get your peer away from the problem; withdrawing from the problem yourself.
"You'll probably look back at all this and laugh..."
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