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 | / / Viewing Peer Listener Handbook
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| Making Contact
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Republished with permission from the Whitman College Peer Listener Handbook Note: The handbook is an excellent resource, especially when listening in person, however it does not perfectly mesh with LiveWire's "Peer Answers" philosophy.
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Your first contact with a peer is crucial. The person is most likely anxious and it is important to be nonjudgmental, sympathetic, empathetic, and be able to listen carefully.
Below is a list of practice items to remember when making contact:
DON'T:- Overwhelm with advice
- Lecture or flood with information
- Dwell on failures -- help them move onto "improvement" or "better" instead of from wrong to right
- Force decisions or choices
- Undermine their right to make a decision
- Assume -- check out assumptions with questions
- Threat or attack
- Tell client to relax or calm down in a demanding tone
- Assume you know what is best
- Take their anger personally
- Retreat from their anger
DO: - Be honest, clear, and straightforward
- Be willing to listen and empathize with feelings
- Be tolerant
- Be patient
- Offer support
- Accepting
- Acknowledge their competency
- Provide client with all the necessary information
- Involve them in their growing process
- Acknowledge and validate anger
- Deal with feelings of anger, not their words
- Be open
- Actively listen
- Responsive
Emotional reactions and volatility are normal, necessary and productive. Start where the person is and work within their system or framework.
[ Return to Handbook Index ]
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