-- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:13 am on July 10, 2009 Ok I was being a SL and replying to some eHelps, when an eHelp pops up and says something about cutting, and I assumed the person cut themselves by accident, so I advised them to go to the hospital and what-not. Turns out, that a few seconds later the person sends a message: "I did it on purpose" Damn. -- Posted by Mods1Blow2Me3Daily at 9:14 am on July 10, 2009 eooww, thats killer. -- Posted by beholder at 9:14 am on July 10, 2009 well ovbisuly -- Posted by RubberTrees at 9:14 am on July 10, 2009 So you can't give them further advice?   -- Posted by Dont Notice Me at 9:15 am on July 10, 2009 I don't understand why anyone will do that. -- Posted by Psycloner at 9:15 am on July 10, 2009 Damn... cutting is not the way to go. -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:16 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from RubberTrees at 5:14 pm on July 10, 2009 So you can't give them further advice? I'm not perfect, kay? I don't really know 100% how to give advice to people WHO CUT. I mean, they find anything to prove you wrong, and in the end, they don't listen to you. -- Posted by Leica at 9:16 am on July 10, 2009 Maybe if you actually read the e-help you would have realised that. -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:17 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Aum Shinrikyo at 5:16 pm on July 10, 2009 Maybe if you actually read the e-help you would have realised that. What??? I read it properly, nobody could have told that the person cut themselves ON PURPOSE or BY ACCIDENT, and I naturally assumed it was by accident, since the person was afraid to go into the hospital. Gerrit??? -- Posted by RubberTrees at 9:18 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:16 pm on July 10, 2009 I'm not perfect, kay? I don't really know 100% how to give advice to people WHO CUT.   I mean, they find anything to prove you wrong, and in the end, they don't listen to you.   I didn't say you were perfect, I was just wondering why it mattered. Also, no, they don't. Being a cutter myself, I don't find everything wrong with what people say and not listen to people. And it's a number of people who do it not just some cutters. -- Posted by SophFairy at 9:20 am on July 10, 2009 At the end of the day, whether your response was targeted for somebody who cut themselves on purpose or not. You still gave the individual advice as to what to do NOW. Meaning that your contribution is still valued. -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:21 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from RubberTrees at 5:18 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:16 pm on July 10, 2009 I'm not perfect, kay? I don't really know 100% how to give advice to people WHO CUT. I mean, they find anything to prove you wrong, and in the end, they don't listen to you. I didn't say you were perfect, I was just wondering why it mattered. Also, no, they don't.  Being a cutter myself, I don't find everything wrong with what people say and not listen to people.  And it's a number of people who do it not just some cutters.   Yeah well in my opinion life's too fucking short, why the fuck would anyone want to end it even sooner? No offence, but cutters must be fucking stupid. Every time I try to write some good no-cutting advice people just bite my head off, I'M NOT EVEN A PROFESSIONAL HELPER GODAMIT. I mean, people either listen to you or not, how would any stranger know exactly what they feel, eh? -- Posted by Leica at 9:23 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 5:17 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Aum Shinrikyo at 5:16 pm on July 10, 2009 Maybe if you actually read the e-help you would have realised that. What??? I read it properly, nobody could have told that the person cut themselves ON PURPOSE or BY ACCIDENT, and I naturally assumed it was by accident, since the person was afraid to go into the hospital. Gerrit??? So they just said that they had cut themselves? That's it? -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:25 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Aum Shinrikyo at 5:23 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 5:17 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Aum Shinrikyo at 5:16 pm on July 10, 2009 Maybe if you actually read the e-help you would have realised that.    What??? I read it properly, nobody could have told that the person cut themselves ON PURPOSE or BY ACCIDENT, and I naturally assumed it was by accident, since the person was afraid to go into the hospital.    Gerrit??? So they just said that they had cut themselves? That's it? They said they had cut themselves pretty bad, and what to do now because they were scared of going into the E.R. Yeah that's it. What could I say?   -- Posted by RubberTrees at 9:29 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:21 pm on July 10, 2009 Yeah well in my opinion life's too fucking short, why the fuck would anyone want to end it even sooner? No offence, but cutters must be fucking stupid. Every time I try to write some good no-cutting advice people just bite my head off, I'M NOT EVEN A PROFESSIONAL HELPER GODAMIT. I mean, people either listen to you or not, how would any stranger know exactly what they feel, eh? You're really fucking stupid, you know that.  People don't cut because they WANT to die they cut because they're unable to ask for help or show their emotions like other people do.  If they really wanted to kill themselves, they would have.  So, please, take that bullshit claim somewhere else.   You're obviously not a professional helper, *I* didn't say you were, and please don't say that I did.  I was simply wondering why it mattered if they did it on purpose or not, you're the one who blew this out of proportion.  You don't know what ANY stranger is feeling exactly, but that's why you put yourself in their shoes and try to see the best solution out there.   That's the point of giving advice, you try your best to solve their problem, and they either listen to you or they don't.  That's the risk with ANY advice you give, whether it be to a cutter or someone who is pregnant or to someone with boyfriend/girlfriend troubles.   -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:37 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from RubberTrees at 5:29 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:21 pm on July 10, 2009 Yeah well in my opinion life's too fucking short, why the fuck would anyone want to end it even sooner? No offence, but cutters must be fucking stupid.    Every time I try to write some good no-cutting advice people just bite my head off, I'M NOT EVEN A PROFESSIONAL HELPER GODAMIT. I mean, people either listen to you or not, how would any stranger know exactly what they feel, eh? You're really fucking stupid, you know that. People don't cut because they WANT to die they cut because they're unable to ask for help or show their emotions like other people do. If they really wanted to kill themselves, they would have. So, please, take that bullshit claim somewhere else. You're obviously not a professional helper, *I* didn't say you were, and please don't say that I did. I was simply wondering why it mattered if they did it on purpose or not, you're the one who blew this out of proportion. You don't know what ANY stranger is feeling exactly, but that's why you put yourself in their shoes and try to see the best solution out there. That's the point of giving advice, you try your best to solve their problem, and they either listen to you or they don't. That's the risk with ANY advice you give, whether it be to a cutter or someone who is pregnant or to someone with boyfriend/girlfriend troubles. What the fucks wrong with you? How the fuck would I know why people cut if I've never done it before? To me it's bullshit, I've never heard of anything more senseless, seriously. I don't usually listen to cutters bullshit, that's why I don't know why the hell they would cut. I didn't say you said I wasn't professional. I just wanted to sort of make that clear. If we, SL's don't know how to answer the eHelp, we simply don't do it, we wait for another SL to do it, somebody who knows something about that particular problem. For me, this eHelp had sort of a surprise box. I wasn't really expecting that person to have cut themselves on purpose. -- Posted by RubberTrees at 9:45 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:37 pm on July 10, 2009 What the fucks wrong with you? How the fuck would I know why people cut if I've never done it before? To me it's bullshit, I've never heard of anything more senseless, seriously. I don't usually listen to cutters bullshit, that's why I don't know why the hell they would cut. I didn't say you said I wasn't professional. I just wanted to sort of make that clear. If we, SL's don't know how to answer the eHelp, we simply don't do it, we wait for another SL to do it, somebody who knows something about that particular problem. For me, this eHelp had sort of a surprise box. I wasn't really expecting that person to have cut themselves on purpose. You're calling something stupid because you don't understand it.  THAT'S what is wrong with me.  Simply because you don't understand it doesn't make it a stupid concept.     Just because you don't cut doesn't mean you can't assume what they are feeling.  I've given advice about relationships and pregnancy even though I've never been through either.  I've given advice about sexual abuse even though I have not been through it.   It's not all about experience, it's about being able to sympathize with the OP, and if you're unable to do so, then just skip it.   I've been a SL, I know how the system works, kthx.   You also have to realize that telling someone to go to the hospital, when they clearly said they don't want to go, is going to result in some kind of negative feedback.  That's the same thing as telling someone who is pregnant to get an abortion or put it up for adoption, when they've stated that they do not want to do either.   -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 9:52 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from RubberTrees at 5:45 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:37 pm on July 10, 2009 What the fucks wrong with you? How the fuck would I know why people cut if I've never done it before? To me it's bullshit, I've never heard of anything more senseless, seriously. I don't usually listen to cutters bullshit, that's why I don't know why the hell they would cut.    I didn't say you said I wasn't professional. I just wanted to sort of make that clear.    If we, SL's don't know how to answer the eHelp, we simply don't do it, we wait for another SL to do it, somebody who knows something about that particular problem.    For me, this eHelp had sort of a surprise box. I wasn't really expecting that person to have cut themselves on purpose.     You're calling something stupid because you don't understand it. THAT'S what is wrong with me. Simply because you don't understand it doesn't make it a stupid concept. Just because you don't cut doesn't mean you can't assume what they are feeling. I've given advice about relationships and pregnancy even though I've never been through either. I've given advice about sexual abuse even though I have not been through it. It's not all about experience, it's about being able to sympathize with the OP, and if you're unable to do so, then just skip it. I've been a SL, I know how the system works, kthx. You also have to realize that telling someone to go to the hospital, when they clearly said they don't want to go, is going to result in some kind of negative feedback. That's the same thing as telling someone who is pregnant to get an abortion or put it up for adoption, when they've stated that they do not want to do either. What's the point of assuming if you really don't know? That's fucking stupid. Yeah sure, you can guess, but if you really don't know, then you're not giving good advice. Sympathise? That's also stupid. Someone just lost their mum, for instance, and you sympathise and say "I'm so sorry about that, but that happens, you can't do anything about that" now, what would be better here, experience or "sympathising"? ANSWER ME TRUTHFULLY. And, the eHelp didn't say they didn't want to go to the hospital, just that they were AFRAID of going there, and to me that's two very different things. You have an opinion, and so do I, this is never going to end unless you admit that we are both wrong or right in one way, because that's how it's going to come out. -- Posted by RubberTrees at 10:02 am on July 10, 2009 Quote: from YellowAcid1 at 12:52 pm on July 10, 2009 What's the point of assuming if you really don't know? That's fucking stupid. Yeah sure, you can guess, but if you really don't know, then you're not giving good advice. Sympathise? That's also stupid. Someone just lost their mum, for instance, and you sympathise and say "I'm so sorry about that, but that happens, you can't do anything about that" now, what would be better here, experience or "sympathising"? ANSWER ME TRUTHFULLY. And, the eHelp didn't say they didn't want to go to the hospital, just that they were AFRAID of going there, and to me that's two very different things. You have an opinion, and so do I, this is never going to end unless you admit that we are both wrong or right in one way, because that's how it's going to come out. If someone lost their mother, I'm going to sympathize with them, yes.  I'm going to tell them that I'm sorry for their loss, and then I'm going to give them some helpful advice.  That's why it's called assuming or "putting yourself in someone else's shoes."   Like I've said before, just because you don't know doesn't mean you can't give good advice.  My mother has never never had an STD or been a hooker or used needles and drugs, but she still gives advice and help to these people.  Obviously it's her job to do so, but YOU can still do the same and try to put yourself in their shoes.  If you can't, then just skip over it.   Just because someone has experienced it doesn't mean they will give better advice.  I've experienced a lot of things that I'm unable to give people advice about, but I'm able to give people helpful advice on things I've never been through by putting myself in their shoes.  I'm not telling them what they want to hear, but I'm telling them who I believe IS the right thing.  Yes, it's not always right, and yes, the OP has disagreed with me from time to time, but the OP has also disagreed with me even if I've had experience in that field.   If the person says they're afraid of going, that means they don't WANT to go.  Do you want to do things you're afraid of doing, whether or not you HAVE to do it?   *I* was simply wondering why it mattered whether the person cut on purpose or not to begin with.   -- Posted by Manipulative Acid at 10:10 am on July 10, 2009 Yeah well, now you know, they cut on purpose. I just didn't see that. All advice depends on the person, if they can give good advice or not, so in the end, it's all up to the person. Personally, I only give great advice in areas that I more or less know, I'm not going to go around pretending I know about some other area when I don't. That's me, but sure, anybody can give advice with anything I guess.