-- Posted by fenderbass2122 at 3:56 pm on July 3, 2009 Seems like a lot of people post their women problems here so why not me? (warning this is definitely going to be long) My sophomore year of high school, I met this girl who was an ex of my best friend. They dated for a month and never did anything. I started talking to her about 4 months afterwards and right at the end of the school year, we started dating. I think we built an incredibly strong relationship because as soon as we started dating, she had to go to her aunt's to take care of family for the 2 months of summer. I didn't see her once so all we did was talk the whole time. Well skipping a lot of boring history.. we dated for a year and broke up over nothing. She realized that things just weren't right anymore which I agree on that now. So we stopped dating and did the on and off thing throughout the rest of my junior year and a part of the summer. The summer before I was about to become a senior in high school, she went on her mission trip to Mexico. We weren't on good terms when she left so I had a feeling something bad was coming. As soon as she gets back, I didn't even talk to her because she had met this guy who was about to be a freshman and they became really good friends. She had no intentions of dating him, but she just pushed me out of the way and spent all her time with her new friend. This went on all senior year and we did the on and off thing a little as seniors. After graduation we just kinda stopped talking because I needed to get away. She was breaking my heart constantly and I was still in love with her. So throughout the summer I just left her alone and this carried over until my first week of college when she calls me saying that she wants me back and how much she missed me. I turned her down because it felt wrong and I knew it wouldn't work. I'm glad I did too. So all my freshman year, I just didn't think about her but little did I know I was still madly in love with her. I was terrible to her when I did talk to her that year too. This whole time though she could never let go of me. She always loved me but just couldn't commit because that serious of a commitment scares her. The whole year she was talking to my mom and always asking about me and how I was. Towards the last 2 weeks of school, I get a call from her because her long distance relationship didn't work and she came back to me because she knows I'm always there for her even if I hadn't talked to her in months. We hit it off again and we got really close and we were dating, but she couldn't fully commit and this is where the problems start again. We were physical (mind you we don't have sex though because well yeah.) and we were always together. Things were good and I was happy because I knew eventually she would come around. I told her a few times that we were dating and all we had to do was just basically fully commit which didn't take much effort since we already were committed. I got turned down that time and we just kinda kept moving forwards like we were. (sorry if I'm confusing anyone but this has been driving me insane and you basically need the whole story) Last friday, this kid that she met on that trip before we were seniors... they had been best friends the whole time and I learned that she thought they would end up together one day and that she cared about him. She was telling me this after we found out that this kid got another girl in college pregnant so that basically killed all feeling she had for him. Except when this happened, we basically stopped what we had been doing all summer. This hurt a little, but I figured, "hey if she isn't hung up on this kid anymore then it's better for me right?" So now that she's not hung up on him we can move forwards. Things haven't been so great the past week though. It feels awkward not being able to hold her when I want to or just show her how I feel. Basically last night I told her we needed to talk about something and she called me while I was in a movie. So when I call back she was asleep. I'm wondering what exactly I should tell her? We know she likes me and still cares. When we talked on the phone the night she told me about that kid getting a girl pregnant, she told me how she had felt like she would marry the guys she's dated at that time... but she was always so busy with that she never thought to look at the guy right in front of her who never leaves and still loves her. She realized how badly she had treated me while she was friends with that kid so. What do I say now? P.S. It almost feels like fate that we are supposed to be together because we go through hell and back. We are still connected to each others families and on holidays we still do things so theres a lot there. I still love her and I show her every day. Funny story I would like to throw in. Her name is Iris and almost every time I have gotten frustrated with her over the years... I can turn on the radio and that song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is playing. It's aggravating but it's like a patience sign. -- Posted by TheClassic at 1:50 am on July 6, 2009 Well it really sounds like you lover her man.  This is a good thing that she's mature enough to realize how's she's acted.  I'm just not really clear on what you're asking.  Tell her how glad you are about where you guys stand now? -- Posted by sesso at 3:45 am on July 6, 2009 Yeah, ask her where she is and where she would like to be (relationship-wise). Good luck x