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Original Post
belizabeth Posted at 7:10 pm on July 9, 2009
Almost every guy I have dated has used me. Am I just that ugly? Or am i just someone they think they can get away with using and then leaving. never again.

Replies
belizabeth Posted at 4:02 pm on July 10, 2009
Quote: from Stormblazer at 3:57 pm on July 10, 2009

Quote: from belizabeth at 4:38 pm on July 10, 2009


 I've done that and when I date the guy who was my friend that is when he shows his dark side.

Out of curiosity, what do you mean by "dark side"? Just wondering about specifics.

Beyond that, I still think friendship first is best. No, it doesn't always work but it's still a good idea, certainly more so than not.

Also, where are looking initially? I don't pretend to be a good judge of where to look, if I was I'd have more success myself despite my unusual views. Still though, some places are not the best places to look.

Finally... This is just conjecture, but based on a friend of mine's experiences. Are you physically attractive? It seems that physically attractive people tend to attract those who are shallow/jerks/bitches/etc more easily whether they want to or not, and thus it's easier to miss talking to someone who might be worth talking to.
Personally I don't care about physical attractiveness, and I'm fairly average myself, so I talk to someone based on shared interests more often than anything else. For example, I can usually find good conversational partners at anime conventions, even if nothing else comes of it.

It may just be that you're not a good judge of character either. If that's the case, I suggest finding someone who is, making friends with them, and using them as a radar =P

Hope that makes sense.


What I mean by the dark side is that I find out there true motive. I am sort of attractive but that is not what gets me the guys. I use my personality more than anything.

Stormblazer Posted at 3:57 pm on July 10, 2009
Quote: from belizabeth at 4:38 pm on July 10, 2009

I've done that and when I date the guy who was my friend that is when he shows his dark side.
Out of curiosity, what do you mean by "dark side"? Just wondering about specifics.

Beyond that, I still think friendship first is best. No, it doesn't always work but it's still a good idea, certainly more so than not.

Also, where are looking initially? I don't pretend to be a good judge of where to look, if I was I'd have more success myself despite my unusual views. Still though, some places are not the best places to look.

Finally... This is just conjecture, but based on a friend of mine's experiences. Are you physically attractive? It seems that physically attractive people tend to attract those who are shallow/jerks/bitches/etc more easily whether they want to or not, and thus it's easier to miss talking to someone who might be worth talking to.
Personally I don't care about physical attractiveness, and I'm fairly average myself, so I talk to someone based on shared interests more often than anything else. For example, I can usually find good conversational partners at anime conventions, even if nothing else comes of it.

It may just be that you're not a good judge of character either. If that's the case, I suggest finding someone who is, making friends with them, and using them as a radar =P

Hope that makes sense.

belizabeth Posted at 3:38 pm on July 10, 2009
Quote: from Stormblazer at 3:11 pm on July 10, 2009

Quote: from belizabeth at 3:29 pm on July 10, 2009

probably the wrong way...
Well, the first thing I can say is this - almost universally it's better to get to know someone before ever considering dating. Asking their friends doesn't count, just seeing him around doesn't count.
The best relationships usually come from being friends with the person first. I'm not saying it can't work without doing that, it can, but it's MUCH harder and you often don't know something that might important until too late.

For myself, I make an effort to be open and honest about who I am and my personality up front, but most guys aren't, and even for me others often notice things about me that I don't. It's just better to get to know someone as friends and see who they are first.


I've done that and when I date the guy who was my friend that is when he shows his dark side.

Stormblazer Posted at 3:11 pm on July 10, 2009
Quote: from belizabeth at 3:29 pm on July 10, 2009

probably the wrong way...
Well, the first thing I can say is this - almost universally it's better to get to know someone before ever considering dating. Asking their friends doesn't count, just seeing him around doesn't count.
The best relationships usually come from being friends with the person first. I'm not saying it can't work without doing that, it can, but it's MUCH harder and you often don't know something that might important until too late.

For myself, I make an effort to be open and honest about who I am and my personality up front, but most guys aren't, and even for me others often notice things about me that I don't. It's just better to get to know someone as friends and see who they are first.

belizabeth Posted at 2:29 pm on July 10, 2009
probably the wrong way...
Stormblazer Posted at 2:25 pm on July 10, 2009
Quote: from belizabeth at 8:10 pm on July 9, 2009

Almost every guy I have dated has used me. Am I just that ugly? Or am i just someone they think they can get away with using and then leaving. never again.
Or you're looking for guys in the wrong places or in the wrong way.
belizabeth Posted at 12:19 pm on July 10, 2009
ok.........
squareness Posted at 7:17 pm on July 9, 2009
Part of life ?
gravewatcher Posted at 7:17 pm on July 9, 2009
normally if someones been used once then they get this fragile mentality that kind of gives up a vibe that asshole guys are attracted to. Just try to not let it bugg you  
jsia Posted at 7:16 pm on July 9, 2009
You're not ugly, guys are pricks.
belizabeth Posted at 7:15 pm on July 9, 2009
I am over it.
w04hs3xy Posted at 7:14 pm on July 9, 2009
idk maybe they just dont like you?
get over it
belizabeth Posted at 7:12 pm on July 9, 2009
What do you mean?
Areola Posted at 7:12 pm on July 9, 2009
Quote: from theyareAs at 10:11 pm on July 9, 2009

Still not buying it

Lulz. My thoughts.

belizabeth Posted at 7:11 pm on July 9, 2009
Quote: from theyareAs at 7:11 pm on July 9, 2009

Still not buying it

what?

Most recent 15 of 16 previous replies displayed.