I got into a bit of an argument on MySpace with a guy I don't even know. Long story short, he was being a jerk with me and I stood up for myself and blocked him. He changed his status later to say that he was "amused by an idiot" which just goes to show me that I was right in thinking he's two-faced. I went from being a "smart girl" that he "respected" to an idiot in a few minutes' time...

Then when I made a post about it elsewhere, a bunch of people were nasty with me and I played along, pretending not to care.

After all THAT, I visited my Gram which was a BIG mistake. She ended up insulting me in front of someone she knows I don't like so I think she may have been purposely trying to humiliate me. She's been somewhat hostile with me in the past so I've decided not to visit her the remainder of my break and just say I'm busy. She'll probably figure out what's wrong but whatever, I'm tired of it.

I know the first two things are stupid, I really do. But for some reason, they weigh on my mind. I don't like confrontation, I want to feel light instead of bogged down by mean people. I don't want to feel constantly criticized... I know that's just life, I know I have to adjust and develop a thick skin but it's rough.

I'm dealing with weight issues at the same time and they're making me depressed. I've been really distant with my boyfriend lately...at a loss for what to say. I'm depressed. I'm struggling. I don't want to burden him with this, I don't want him to be upset.

It's only 10:00PM here but I'm too sad to really do much. I'm actually thinking about going to bed early to escape how anxious and depressed I am.

First, those first two situations are not stupid. If it affects you, it's not stupid.

Secondly, your boyfriend is the person you need to cling to most. You said you have weight issues. That's understandable. Im 295 pounds, lol. Granted im not a girl, (which totally changes the situation) but i atleast understand slightly.

Honestly just talk to your boyfriend. He can do things i cannot. I cant hold you and tell you that you are beautiful, and that everything will be ok....but he can. Because truth is, you are. When you said that you want to just basically be chill. You dont want mean people around you, and you dont like to argue, that shows me that you have a beautiful personality. Which is something that a vast majority of people do not have.

And you do not have to have thick skin. Many things are mental. When someone is rude to you, if you physically and mentally block it out, maybe even laugh about it, you will see a noticeable change in your attitude and mood.

Talk to you boyfriend, its a GREAT starting point. :)

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Im a front porch sittin, guitar pickin, moonshine sippin,

baccer juice spittin, COUNTRY BOY FROM THE WOODS.