But maybe I should of. I don't know.

Right in this moment in time i've never hated myself more.

My mum doesn't agree with anything i'm doing apart from college. And i'm only doing one fo the subjects to make her happy.

My dad has hardly any role in my life.

I have no friends because i've pushed them all away, because the one person that mattered, decided to get a new friend because I went on holiday for a month.

My boyfriend is the only person that matters to me. Yet i'm fucking it up by being upset all the time.

I need him, but he doesn't know anythings wrong.

After crying almost every night for the past two weeks i've realised somethings wrong.

But I don't want help because people will think i'm just trying to get attention like before.

No. There isn't anything wrong with my life. Yes I should be happy. But i'm not. And I don't even know why.

I don't even know what i'm asking for help on.

Just tell me some bullshit reason as to why i'm like this.

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I'm in love

Going to war, to prevent war, was the most stupid thing I ever heard.

Your life is what you choose to make of it, not how your mother sees it and how she feels that it should be. In reality, only you know every little nook and cranny about who you are, and she can't simply come in your life and sit there and tell you she doesn't approve. Honestly? It's your life and you're bound to live it as you please. Sure you'll screw up here and there, but that's how you learn from your past and from your mistakes. She can't simply say she doesn't approve and then sit there and not offer any way of change that's actually realistic. chances are she probably doesn't care all that much, and just wants to see you upset over her trying to put you down.

I'm sorry your father isn't in your life, and while I don't know how it truly feels, I can somewhat relate to a point. While my dad is in my life, I truly wish he wasn't. He causes me more pain then he could ever imagine, and sometimes I wish he was just gone. Sure it's nice to have him here, but the cons heavily outweigh the pros. Perhaps he hasn't been a strong role in your life for a reason, and for that I guess you could say it's for the best. Though, it sounds like you'd want him to be in your life as much as possible.

We all push people away every now and then, whether it be because of problems in our lives, or just the pure fact that we can't really deal with our stress and pain so we subconsciously feel like it's them that put it on us, and thus we push them away. I think that while you have pushed them away, they will still be there for you. You just need to reach out and acknowledge towards them that you did make a mistake which you wish you hadn't.

He's your boyfriend, and he should expect you to be sad every now and then. On top of that, you shouldn't sit there and feel like you can't tell him. He's in your life for an obvious reason, and you truly need to tell him everything that's on your mind. He cares about you. If he didn't, than he would have run off long ago and left you in the dust. You opening up to him could actually potentially help the both of you in the long run. It shows you care about him enough to trust him, and that he cares enough to help you.

Sometimes we get into slumps, and there really isn't anything we really can do other than trying to pull ourselves out of it and finding happiness in the most awkward things. You'll get past this with a few good days and someone there to show you that they love you through the good and bad.
:)
~Wayne

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Soulless is everywhere, destroy the spineless.

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Heyy.

Your life is what you choose to make of it, not how your mother sees it and how she feels that it should be. In reality, only you know every little nook and cranny about who you are, and she can't simply come in your life and sit there and tell you she doesn't approve. Honestly? It's your life and you're bound to live it as you please. Sure you'll screw up here and there, but that's how you learn from your past and from your mistakes. She can't simply say she doesn't approve and then sit there and not offer any way of change that's actually realistic. chances are she probably doesn't care all that much, and just wants to see you upset over her trying to put you down.

I'm sorry your father isn't in your life, and while I don't know how it truly feels, I can somewhat relate to a point. While my dad is in my life, I truly wish he wasn't. He causes me more pain then he could ever imagine, and sometimes I wish he was just gone. Sure it's nice to have him here, but the cons heavily outweigh the pros. Perhaps he hasn't been a strong role in your life for a reason, and for that I guess you could say it's for the best. Though, it sounds like you'd want him to be in your life as much as possible.

We all push people away every now and then, whether it be because of problems in our lives, or just the pure fact that we can't really deal with our stress and pain so we subconsciously feel like it's them that put it on us, and thus we push them away. I think that while you have pushed them away, they will still be there for you. You just need to reach out and acknowledge towards them that you did make a mistake which you wish you hadn't.

He's your boyfriend, and he should expect you to be sad every now and then. On top of that, you shouldn't sit there and feel like you can't tell him. He's in your life for an obvious reason, and you truly need to tell him everything that's on your mind. He cares about you. If he didn't, than he would have run off long ago and left you in the dust. You opening up to him could actually potentially help the both of you in the long run. It shows you care about him enough to trust him, and that he cares enough to help you.

Sometimes we get into slumps, and there really isn't anything we really can do other than trying to pull ourselves out of it and finding happiness in the most awkward things. You'll get past this with a few good days and someone there to show you that they love you through the good and bad.
:)
~Wayne

---

I'm just not listening to much my mum has to say atm. As I was thinking. Its my life.

My dads IN my life. We're just not close. I suppose its better than nothing :)

And the friends I had, I pushed away a LONG time ago. I've had acquaintances since then. They're too long gone to try and get back.

And I don't know what to tell my boyfriend. I'm always upset and I just feel like it's getting so pathetic I shouldn't tell him what's wrong because there's always so meting wrong.
When I know what's wrong I try and tell him.

A lot of the time there isn't anything though.

But thank you SO much :)

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I'm in love

Going to war, to prevent war, was the most stupid thing I ever heard.

It seems like the main thing you're worrying about is the lack of communiaction between you and your boyfriend, and you're worried that you being upset all the time will affect your relationship.

Your boyfriend cares about you. he loves you, and he is there to help you and to listen. Sometimes that's all we need. Getting it out in the open makes everything seem a lot easier to cope with and less of a big deal. If you talk to him, you'll kill two birds with one stone - You won't be worried about losing him, and you're getting everything off of your chest.

Your job is not to impress your mother. This is your life, and you are the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions, not her, so at the end of the day, make your own decisions for you. Yes, what she thinks is important, but not to the point where it's making you unhappy.

Just think about your own happiness, and what will calm you down. Talk to your boyfriend, if anything it'll probably bring you closer. Things will get easier, don't worry.

*Matt

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LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!

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I'm just not listening to much my mum has to say atm. As I was thinking. Its my life.

My dads IN my life. We're just not close. I suppose its better than nothing :)

And the friends I had, I pushed away a LONG time ago. I've had acquaintances since then. They're too long gone to try and get back.

And I don't know what to tell my boyfriend. I'm always upset and I just feel like it's getting so pathetic I shouldn't tell him what's wrong because there's always so meting wrong.
When I know what's wrong I try and tell him.

A lot of the time there isn't anything though.

But thank you SO much :)

---

I must have missed that part, but I mean, there are always reasons as to why it could and should be best for our fathers to not be in our lives. He could enter your life right now, and then what? He could either be completely sweet and caring, or add just an additional lump of stress and hurt onto you.

I guess that makes sense, but the future is different than the present and as long as you try to make friends and do the best you know you can, than there isn't much else you can do. I told my sister this earlier (because in all honesty she has no friends :/): If you see anyone sitting by themselves, instead of going and being by yourself, sit down and spark a conversation. Who knows, they could be in the same boat as you, striving to get friends but failing nonetheless. Even if you don't like them, make their day a little bit brighter and give them hope.

Tell him everything you've just told us, simple as that. Just get to a state where you're comfortable as anything and just spill your mind to him. He won't care, and he should listen to you and try his best to be there for you. :)

You're welcome, and anytime. <3

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Soulless is everywhere, destroy the spineless.