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  LiveWire / College Forums / College Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

I just about cheated tonight...
Replies: 21Last Post Oct. 24 3:16am by SomeRandomKid
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( Anonymous )

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I have no excuse.  I met a guy at an international function, and he was really fun.  when I got home, I noticed he was kind of interested.  but after a while, I kind of became interested in him.  but I went home anyways.  after we talked via e-mail, we considered hooking up.

but after taking forever going over if I should do this, he took care of it himself.  needless to say I was relieved.

ya see, I've been seeing this guy I met 3 months ago.  however, he rarely has time for me, and I'm seriously wondering where this is going, if it's going anywhere at all...I'm so tired of being lonely, and I want someone to come with me to places...like restaurants, walks in the park, sightseeing, etc.

But he never has time.  not even to talk on the phone.  every blue moon, he'll sit with me at a coffee shop, but nothing more yet.

even if he were to call it off tomorrow, I still feel guilty about tonight.  I almost cheated on a guy I really like, but barely get any time with, if going for coffee even counts...

I'm not going in to the function tomorrow, because I'll see that guy there.  I can't have the temptation.  at the cost of my reputation, I'm gonna try harder to save whatever this relationship is with this guy.


2:43 am on Oct. 24, 2009
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captain sunshine


Quality Control Engineer
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stop seeing the guy who doesnt have time for you theres no point being with him if you never see eachother :/

2:44 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2009 | Days Active: 17
Join to learn more about captain sunshine England, United Kingdom | Asexual Male | Posts: 713 | Points: 906
blufindr


Darlin', rescue me.

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Why the hell would you try to save a relationship with a guy who doesn't make time for you?

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Must I prove to you how good we are together?

2:45 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 351
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tigard


Dairy Product Addict
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Good for you.

It sounds like the guy you're seeing may not be a good fit for you.  You should consider whether or not you want to stay with him, but as long as you are with him, you did the right thing by not cheating.


2:46 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 544
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LovrAtHeart


Novice
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i agree wit captin sunshine

2:46 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2009 | Days Active: 1
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Violently Happy


Omnipotent One
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wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.

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Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.

2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2006 | Days Active: 654
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theapologist


Wealthy Hobo
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break up with him, you will NOT regret it.

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The sky is a torn up denim and the clouds are just splattered paint.

2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2009 | Days Active: 38
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( Anonymous )

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Quote: from blufindr at 2:45 am on Oct. 24, 2009

Why the hell would you try to save a relationship with a guy who doesn't make time for you?

because I'm lonely enough as it is.  to call it off...it took so long for me to muster up the courage to date again.  and this guy is very mature...but very wrapped up in his work.  I don't want to tell him his work is the problem, especially since it's what drives him.

if there is any chance things wind down in the next month or two, I want to wait.  but until then, I wish I had the courage to tell him I want to see him more...and not just at the coffee shop.  I want to watch movies with him.   I want to take walks with him, and watch whatever nature is going on while in his arms.

I'm too tired, and too lonely to start over, though it wouldn't be  a far fall.


2:50 am on Oct. 24, 2009
Violently Happy


Omnipotent One
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How old are you?

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Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.

2:52 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2006 | Days Active: 654
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blufindr


Darlin', rescue me.

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Quote: from Anonymous at 7:50 pm on Oct. 24, 2009

because I'm lonely enough as it is. to call it off...it took so long for me to muster up the courage to date again. and this guy is very mature...but very wrapped up in his work. I don't want to tell him his work is the problem, especially since it's what drives him.

if there is any chance things wind down in the next month or two, I want to wait. but until then, I wish I had the courage to tell him I want to see him more...and not just at the coffee shop. I want to watch movies with him. I want to take walks with him, and watch whatever nature is going on while in his arms.

I'm too tired, and too lonely to start over, though it wouldn't be a far fall.


Ask him to take some time for you.  Being in a one-sided relationship is fair on neither you nor him.

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Must I prove to you how good we are together?


2:53 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 351
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Stormblazer


Enlightened One

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See, this is why I hate exclusive monogamy.
I can have a relationship where I rarely even see the person, someone who I really like there just isn't much opportunity for time, and yet still have other opportunities with other people I might also really like. Exclusivity says I can't, when if I'm honest about there's really no issue.

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Religion: Atheistic agnostic, political independent
Polyamory FAQ Relationships

2:54 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: April 2005 | Days Active: 423
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( Anonymous )

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Quote: from Violently Happy at 2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009

wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.

I want a mate for life. not a fling.  many my age are very..."sensual".  I want substance.  I almost fell into that habit of taking physical pleasure in place of possible love.

he's someone I could see living with in the far future, and not having any regrets.  However, right now it's just so hard to figure out what would make him understand how I feel, without scaring him off.


2:55 am on Oct. 24, 2009
Stormblazer


Enlightened One

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Quote: from Anonymous at 3:55 am on Oct. 24, 2009

Quote: from Violently Happy at 2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009

wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.

I want a mate for life. not a fling. many my age are very..."sensual". I want substance. I almost fell into that habit of taking physical pleasure in place of possible love.

he's someone I could see living with in the far future, and not having any regrets. However, right now it's just so hard to figure out what would make him understand how I feel, without scaring him off.


I'd like to point out that you can have substance without exclusivity. See: Polyamory.

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Religion: Atheistic agnostic, political independent
Polyamory FAQ Relationships

2:56 am on Oct. 24, 2009 | Joined: April 2005 | Days Active: 423
Join to learn more about Stormblazer Colorado, United States | Label Free Male | Posts: 9,865 | Points: 16,413
( Anonymous )

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I'm 25, he's 47

2:57 am on Oct. 24, 2009
( Anonymous )

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Quote: from Stormblazer at 2:56 am on Oct. 24, 2009

Quote: from Anonymous at 3:55 am on Oct. 24, 2009

Quote: from Violently Happy at 2:47 am on Oct. 24, 2009

wow... that's sad. You're acting like you're 40 and about to get a divorce.
 

 I want a mate for life. not a fling.  many my age are very..."sensual".  I want substance.  I almost fell into that habit of taking physical pleasure in place of possible love.  

 he's someone I could see living with in the far future, and not having any regrets.  However, right now it's just so hard to figure out what would make him understand how I feel, without scaring him off.


I'd like to point out that you can have substance without exclusivity. See: Polyamory.

I don't want to share my love life with multiple lovers.  I want to give my heart to one person, and give him love and passion I wouldn't give to anyone else.

polyamory...I'd be too busy balancing love equally.


3:01 am on Oct. 24, 2009
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