I do, some days when I'm with my family I just do not feel happy and it's VERY hard to even fake a smile for photographs. Sometimes I just sit in silence around certain people thinking to myself while they are all talking. I get people occassionally asking me laughingly if I have had a long day or something, and I normally just say 'yeah' and try to shake it off.

While I'm at it I might add that there are very few people that I feel I can really be myself around, and family aren't one of them.

I don't like to be alone, and I really want a partner at this point in my life (and some good friends)...but most of the time around my family I would just rather be at home by myself. It's funny because my brother is the completely opposite, always cheery. He has had the same gf for 10 years now.

Recently he told my mother that he was a little depressed....it made me mad because he seriously doesn't have anything to be depressed about...while myself on the other hand have a million areas in my life that I wish were better, but I have always kept it to myself.

I hope you enjoyed my mini rant!

I don't talk to my family.

I am happy around my friends, half the time.

at nights I get very lonely and sad.

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I give up on trying to use knowledgeable quotes as
signatures, they always turn out tacky...

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You depress me.

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I meant to go to the doctors to talk about despression, but there is this other really private problem that I went to talk to them about just last week. I think going to same doctor about both of these problems might be extreme (trust me). butttt I really want to try anti depressants for a little while.

I might also add that I am only like this around my mother and father, not any other family. People that I think that think they know me (but don't), are the main types of people that I feel uncomfortable like this around.

It's sad because it's the closest people to me that I can't even share personal stuff with. I have always been an extremely closed box and private person all my life.

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I used to feel like that. And I'd feel sorry for myself about it to. But in the end, I realised that some of the reasons I was feeling about that may have stemmed out of the fact that I'd seem so depressed. And I started trying to act happier even though I didn't feel it, and things are working out better now. Not great, but better than they were. I feel happier and more confident in myself, so I don't have to fake it anymore.
But good luck whatever you do!

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thanks, I will try.

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I forgot one thing that might be vital in some way: I can barely seem to look my mother or father in the eyes, sometimes my brother too. These are the only people in the whole world I get like this around.

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