Now, any of you that have seen many of my posts know I advocate a very deliberate approach to romance. I build relationships carefully and surely over time.

I believed that spontaneous relationships reflected a level of immaturity, of confusing infatuation for actual romance and relationship. To a large degree, I still do. But more and more lately, I'm picking on that for at least some people, their mind actually does function that way when it comes to relationships. They're a minority compared with how many think they do, but I'm willing to admit they exist.

Thoughts?

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Religion: Atheistic agnostic, political independent
Polyamory FAQ Relationships

Then I met my husband.  We met our senior year, and we got to know each other as friends, but since I had a boyfriend we never planned on dating, we had a spontaneous start to our relationship.  We just started dating right after I broke up with my ex.  Literally no thinking into it, we just started going out, and it has gone wonderfully.  We didn't have worries about what we should do, or how we should get to know each other, we just jumped in.

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If you come across a car accident after midnight, and everyone is sober;
Keep looking, you are missing someone.

-Rules of EMS

So I think it's good you are kind of changing your mind about it, it's really a matter of how the person acts on it or their level of maturity.

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From up here, you can't see any borders.
All you can see is the Earth.
In a sane society, decisions are not made but arrived at.

With my current boyfriend, one day we started goofing around and talking, the next we decided we decided we liked each other, and the next we were dating. Its working out SO much better than my past relationships, its just crazy.

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I love life, but life has a boyfriend.
http://www.last.fm/user/chelseastar

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I don't get why you can't be infatuated with someone you are deeply romantically attracted to. I've had spontaneous feelings for someone, and they were really deep even though I didn't know them well, and unlike the commonly accepted myth about infatuated, it lasted, a long time.  

So I think it's good you are kind of changing your mind about it, it's really a matter of how the person acts on it or their level of maturity.

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I still feel like deliberate is best, of course, or else I wouldn't advocate it, but I can admit now that for many of you, spontaneous really does work.

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Religion: Atheistic agnostic, political independent
Polyamory FAQ Relationships

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I used to have very planned out deliberate relationships. The whole process of "talking" and dating and evalution took a long time, and by the time we started dating it only lasted like two weeks.

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Quote: from Aimforthehead at 11:34 am on Nov. 8, 2009

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I don't get why you can't be infatuated with someone you are deeply romantically attracted to. I've had spontaneous feelings for someone, and they were really deep even though I didn't know them well, and unlike the commonly accepted myth about infatuated, it lasted, a long time.

 So I think it's good you are kind of changing your mind about it, it's really a matter of how the person acts on it or their level of maturity.

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Perhaps I should've said "merely" infatuated, but yeah...
You're actually one of the major examples reasons I've begun to change my stance.

I still feel like deliberate is best, of course, or else I wouldn't advocate it, but I can admit now that for many of you, spontaneous really does work.

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From experience I can say slim. It's not necessarily the type of relationship being mixed it's just the improbability of compatibility. If you are friends with someone, you know you have a lot in common and since you are around similar environments you are several times more likely to have the same ideals, and thus more compatible. It's not so much how long you know them, or how much about them you get to know, it's just compatible or not.

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From up here, you can't see any borders.
All you can see is the Earth.
In a sane society, decisions are not made but arrived at.

And I met my current gf completely randomly and within 3 days we were dating(on our first date actually) and its been 2 years, and I truly believe she is the one.

Spontaneous relationships work for some people. Shes like my best friend too.

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Take my hand, this one last time,
Face the world before us, the warrior inside,
In a lifetime of disaster, it's a battle to the end,
Final stand, my life must carry on, And forever, this time.