Active Socially:
Drinks heavily.

Alert To Company Developments:
An office gossip.

Approaches Difficult Problems With Logic:
Finds someone else to do the job.

Average:
Not too bright.

Character Above Reproach:
Still one step ahead of the law.

Competent:
Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.

Conscientious And Careful:
Scared.

Consults With Supervisor Often:
Pain in the ass.

Demonstrates Qualities Of Leadership:
Has a loud voice.

Deserves Promotion:
Create new title to make him/her feel appreciated.

Enjoys Job:
Needs more to do.

Exceptionally Well Qualified:
Has committed no major blunders to date.

Expresses Self Well:
Can string two sentences together.

Gets Along Extremely Well With Superiors And Subordinates Alike:
A coward.

Happy:
Paid too much.

Hard Worker:
Usually does it the hard way.

Indifferent To Instruction:
Knows more than superiors.

Is Unusually Loyal:
Wanted by no-one else.

Judgement Is Usually Sound:
Lucky.

A Keen Analyst:
Thoroughly confused.

Keen Sense Of Humor:
Knows lots of dirty jokes.

Maintains Professional Attitude:
A snob.

Meticulous In Attention To Detail:
A nitpicker.

Not A Desk Person:
Did not go to college.

Of Great Value To The Organization:
Turns in work on time.

Quick Thinking:
Offers plausible excuses for errors.

Requires Work-Value Attitudinal Readjustment:
Lazy and hard-headed.

Should Go Far:
Please.

Slightly Below Average:
Stupid.

Spends Extra Hours On The Job:
Miserable home life.

Stern Disciplinarian:
A real jerk.

Strong Adherence To Principles:
Stubborn.

Tactful In Dealing With Superiors:
Knows when to keep mouth shut.

Takes Pride In Work:
Conceited.

Takes Advantage Of Every Opportunity To Progress:
Buys drinks for superiors.

Unlimited Potential:
Will stick with us until retirement.

Uses Resources Well:
Delegates everything.

Uses Time Effectively:
Clock watcher.

Very Creative:
Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.

Well Organized:
Does too much busywork.

Will Go Far:
Relative of management.

Zealous Attitude:
Opinionated.

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You must learn to know me by another name.