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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Giv me yur opinion on my poem
Replies: 5Last Post Oct. 9 1:37pm by buttercup1246
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( buttercup1246 )


Quality Control Engineer
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Created happiness but later horrible demons.
Hope occurs once while pain has plenty of faces.
Peace is reached,sorrow is conquered.
Fear never leaves, just hides momentarly.
Dreams into old memeries, old memeries into nightmares.
Drenched in questions, confessions, and friendly advice.
Mean words form under the tongue.
Emotions disinergrate, heart repairs, love no more.
Stolen moments withe shocked expressions.


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Can you ever like me enough to love me?

1:32 pm on Oct. 9, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2009 | Days Active: 55
Join to learn more about buttercup1246 South Carolina, United States | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 160 | Points: 740
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crazycat


Wealthy Hobo
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its okay

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im not gay but ill learn

1:33 pm on Oct. 9, 2009 | Joined: Feb. 2009 | Days Active: 220
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Chocolate Thunda


Swami

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This should be our new slogan.

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Like a runaway

1:33 pm on Oct. 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 413
Join to learn more about Chocolate Thunda Iowa, United States | Questioning | Posts: 22,258 | Points: 27,005
RawrReepicheep


Enlightened One

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I don't really get it...

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We're all damaged somehow.

We are back from the future, saving the interwebz one post at a time.

1:34 pm on Oct. 9, 2009 | Joined: Dec. 2008 | Days Active: 211
Join to learn more about RawrReepicheep North Carolina, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 10,554 | Points: 15,191
eklipse


à la folie

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Support Leader
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Memories *

Disintegrated *

Try using the spell check button next time, overall it's pretty decent. It jumps from one thought to the next too much, too often, in my opinion. It should like ease into it, rather than going thought a, thought b, thought c, etc. Try using transitions next time.

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███ṚƎMIXƎD███
GRADUATIONx


1:34 pm on Oct. 9, 2009 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 441
Join to learn more about eklipse Maryland, United States | Male | Posts: 25,752 | Points: 33,796
( buttercup1246 )


Quality Control Engineer
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thnk yu for that wonderful imformation
i was jux writing wat i felt

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Can you ever like me enough to love me?

1:37 pm on Oct. 9, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2009 | Days Active: 55
Join to learn more about buttercup1246 South Carolina, United States | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 160 | Points: 740
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