But i have fucked up alot, both now and in the past, and it is destroying me.

Friday she ignored me during class and barely spoke to me. When i tried txting her she wouldnt reply till last nite n i asked if i did something n she said "yeah" n that we'd talk about it later.

But ineed to talk about it now. Iv cut myself 10 times already in less than 24 hours. Idk how much longer i can hold on with things like this.

She means everything to me

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So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false.
The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change.
I'm going to change.

Self-harming...Not a good idea. I think you know that it isn't a good idea. This can become a very dangerous habit and it will become harder and harder to stop. Quit while you are ahead. Get some help for this problem before its too late. Speak to a counsellor at your school. They can help you out. Click this link for more information about cutting and this link for over 150 things you can do instead of cutting. This isn't the answer for your problems in life.

Hope that helps. If you would like to talk, message me anytime. Best of luck.