Alright, my religion is that of the Golden Platypus. There are not many followers - yet, tis is the one and only true religion. This is why you Christians think of God the way you do.

Oh and follow the religion on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=1713714785

Upon reaching the base of the mountain, Moses was approached by the most vile of creatures; the most evil of evils. A giant, tentacled monster that shimmered in the darkness. His skin was chromed and his eyes were like holes in the sun.

"What do you have there, old man?", said the slippery voice of the creature.

For a moment Moses feared. His heart felt drained and he could barely breath. His eyes were blinded by something bad and the smell of putrefaction filled his nostrils like the stink of a corpse.

"I bring with me the holy list of commandments." said Moses, proudly.

"Ah, yes... the commandments... and who gave them to you?"

"The Mightiest of the Mighty, the holiest of the Holy, the one and only TRUE God, The Mighty and Holy and Golden, Golden Platypus!"

The tentacled beast laughed.

"Oh, old man. I, of course, mean no disrespect... but do you honestly expect those people down there to believe you? I mean, think about it. A platypus?", the monster laughed once more. "That's just...well, lame."

Moses nearly gagged!

"How dare you! Never disrespect God! I can't believe... but... wait, what do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Just something that you might want to consider...", the slippery limb coiled up the old man's arm and almost dragged him over to a cliff side, with a clear view of the masses below. They were building statues and golden monuments that rocked... considering they were basically cavemen. "Do you see those guys down there? What are they building?"

"Oh, the golden gifts that God wanted."

"Look at them... what do they look like?"

"Erm... well... um... they're... you know... We don't really have an extensive language yet, we're pretty dumb..."

"...Are you serious?", the monster sighed, frustrated. "Very well... do they look like the platypus who spoke to you?"

"Whats a platypus?"

"...."

"..."

"......."

"...?.."

"...You're an idiot, Moses. They look like humans! Look! Do they look like you? huh? The statues, you moron! They're like you, aren't they! Yes, you imbecile! Yes! ...I hate you."

"Oh... ok...what's you're point?"

"The humans don't want to praise to a Platypus! They want something they can relate to! See? If you show up with a story that a Platypus, an animal none of you even seem to know what is..."

"Well, I mean, they're usually found in Australia, not here..."

"...Yes...well...ok, true. ...How can you even know that? Australia hasn't even been discovered! I mean... forget it. Just... just go and tell them that you got them from a God that looks like you guys. Like a man, not a woman, otherwise they won't take you seriously."

"Well... I mean... I can't betray the Gold-"

"Shh, shh! You're not betraying him. You're helping him... by making his commandments more believable... see? If you tell them that God LOOKS like them, they'll believe you. Get it?"

"oh... well... I see your point..."

"Ok, good. Now go, trust me. I know what I'm talking about, think of me as your personal PR Guy. Yes? Good... now, go. And remember, tell them it looks like a MAN, NOT a WOMAN."

"Yes."

"I'm serious. A MAN. NOT A WOMAN."

"yea, ok."

And as the old man left for the camp, the sound of chuckling behind him grew in intensity that turned into thunder and fire...

-------
Don't be a scrotumbrain.