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Why are people so mean to young mothers?  |
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Replies: 100 Last Post July 12 3:24pm by dunebug
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Web Resources: Teen Pregnancy Facts, Abortion Facts
USA Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663
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musicfan3
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Quote: from dunebug at 6:09 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
I think at the height of our diaper use, we spent $100 maybe $150/month on diapers. Teenagers spend nearly that much on one video game ($60-$80 not including tax). Growing is free. I spent maybe $100-$200/YEAR on clothes because I wasn't a vain idiot and I bought second-hand. Kids use things so shortly that most clothes are in perfect condition but I paid 50 cents for the tshirts instead of $15+. Transportation depends on your area. I personally walk and take the bus an unlimited monthly bus pass is $75/month. Medical is an issue if you're down in the States, but it's not too bad here in Canada. Dental isn't covered but most kids don't even see a Dentist here until 2-3. Hunter saw one for the first time a few months ago and I think we paid $80 for the visit which happens once a year. *shrug* It's all in how you choose to do it. They actually become more expensive as they get older. 
Thank you for emphasizing my point Peace love sunshine. To dunebag I ask, if it so cheap and apparently you don't need an education, I suppose a teen mother could get all the money to pay for all of these expenses by flipping burgers? This was just the point I was trying to make earlier but I guess you didn't get it.
------- http://www.last.fm/user/Musicfanx3 NEW LASTFM
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 LiveWire Humor
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Chava
Visionary
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Quote: from musicfan3 at 8:26 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 6:09 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
I think at the height of our diaper use, we spent $100 maybe $150/month on diapers. Teenagers spend nearly that much on one video game ($60-$80 not including tax). Growing is free. I spent maybe $100-$200/YEAR on clothes because I wasn't a vain idiot and I bought second-hand. Kids use things so shortly that most clothes are in perfect condition but I paid 50 cents for the tshirts instead of $15+. Transportation depends on your area. I personally walk and take the bus an unlimited monthly bus pass is $75/month. Medical is an issue if you're down in the States, but it's not too bad here in Canada. Dental isn't covered but most kids don't even see a Dentist here until 2-3. Hunter saw one for the first time a few months ago and I think we paid $80 for the visit which happens once a year. *shrug* It's all in how you choose to do it. They actually become more expensive as they get older. 
Thank you for emphasizing my point Peace love sunshine. To dunebag I ask, if it so cheap and apparently you don't need an education, I suppose a teen mother could get all the money to pay for all of these expenses by flipping burgers? This was just the point I was trying to make earlier but I guess you didn't get it. 
Actually they can/ Oscar works at Chuck E Cheese and I work at a gas station.
------- Enrique's (21 months) and Chase's (2 months) mommy www.myspace.com/Chaya77
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5:29 pm on July 7, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2006 | Days Active: 454 Join to learn more about Chava Ohio, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 5,089 | Points: 8,873
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dunebug
Guru
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And you don't get my point. Once again, slower, Babies are expensive as you make them. Most parents MAKE them expensive by making poor choices. They insist that the baby needs a $1000-$3000 nursery. It doesn't. A baby can't even see in 12 inches in front of it's face for weeks. But parents insist they need it. There's up to $3000 on paint, carpet/flooring, decorating, furniture, etc. They choose not to breastfeed, even when they can. That means up to $200 a month or more in formula, bottles, nipples, brushes, etc. Most of which have to constantly be replaced because they get lost, you forget about them and they go bad, you run out of liners, etc. They choose to insist that their child needs everything new. They have an ignorant view of second-hand/consignment stores as being 'dirty' or 'junky' so they'd rather spend up to $50 an outfit on their child just because it still has a tag on it. They insist on buying fancy furniture that is 'cuter' or fits some design scheme in the nursery, adding yet more cost. One girl on another board I'm on wanted to buy a $900 changing station and was extremely irritated her boyfriend wouldn't allow it. Do I need to go on and on? Should I get out one of those Parental Checklists and tell you all of the things you don't need on them? All of the things I never even touched once in almost 5 years of parenting? Or do you, as a non parent, want to keep telling me - as a parent - what parents need? Get a clue already. YOU are the one who isn't understanding and I cannot make it any clearer.
------- Holly. Mama to Hunter Kai Still missing you, LML. (1941-2007). ♥ "Nothing is worth more than this day."
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5:34 pm on July 7, 2009 | Joined: July 2005 | Days Active: 922 Join to learn more about dunebug British Columbia, Canada | Straight Female | Posts: 4,538 | Points: 23,751
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Clara Bell
Swami
Sustainer
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Quote: from MamaMockingbird at 8:41 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 2:18 am on July 4, 2009
Quote: from musicfan3 at 11:54 am on July 3, 2009
Well one babies aren't cheap. They have lots of expenses. A teenager with no education is not going to have the job skills to be able to obtain a job to fully provide and support for their child. 
They actually are. People make them expensive by making unwise or extensive purchases. Parents who insist on nurseries and designer clothes and buying everything new. People make babies expensive because they turn them into little cult/designer objects. Babies essentially need diapers, clothes, a simple safe place to sleep and food. 
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
Coming from someone...with no kids. LOL. 
Just because I'm not a mother doesn't mean I can't know this stuff.
------- Hi, my name is- You won't remember... S » G
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5:44 pm on July 7, 2009 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 375 Join to learn more about Clara Bell North Carolina, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 23,201 | Points: 28,116
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MamaMockingbird
Executive
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Quote: from peace love sunshine at 5:44 pm on July 7, 2009 Just because I'm not a mother doesn't mean I can't know this stuff. Well, yes, it does. Unless you're the one providing for a kid, you don't really know what the cost of providing for one is
------- Katrina mommy to Jayden Elizabeth 12.21.07
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musicfan3
Visionary
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Quote: from dunebug at 7:34 pm on July 7, 2009
And you don't get my point. Once again, slower, Babies are expensive as you make them. Most parents MAKE them expensive by making poor choices. They insist that the baby needs a $1000-$3000 nursery. It doesn't. A baby can't even see in 12 inches in front of it's face for weeks. But parents insist they need it. There's up to $3000 on paint, carpet/flooring, decorating, furniture, etc. They choose not to breastfeed, even when they can. That means up to $200 a month or more in formula, bottles, nipples, brushes, etc. Most of which have to constantly be replaced because they get lost, you forget about them and they go bad, you run out of liners, etc. They choose to insist that their child needs everything new. They have an ignorant view of second-hand/consignment stores as being 'dirty' or 'junky' so they'd rather spend up to $50 an outfit on their child just because it still has a tag on it. They insist on buying fancy furniture that is 'cuter' or fits some design scheme in the nursery, adding yet more cost. One girl on another board I'm on wanted to buy a $900 changing station and was extremely irritated her boyfriend wouldn't allow it. Do I need to go on and on? Should I get out one of those Parental Checklists and tell you all of the things you don't need on them? All of the things I never even touched once in almost 5 years of parenting? Or do you, as a non parent, want to keep telling me - as a parent - what parents need? Get a clue already. YOU are the one who isn't understanding and I cannot make it any clearer. 
No I do understand in fact I even provided many examples from teen age moms at my school. But when you call it cheap you make it sound like its so cheap every girl in america should have their own kid. These aren't the only expenses. What about housing? I honestly don't know any 15 year old that can live on their own. Again this is a burden on the grandparents because then its up to them to provide housing. I made lots of good points about teen mothers being burdens to the grandparents and taxpayers and you never addressed any of that. I think you simply brushing those things off. Sure you can buy everything used and yes that can lower the cost a little bit but its still isn't cheap.
------- http://www.last.fm/user/Musicfanx3 NEW LASTFM
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musicfan3
Visionary
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Quote: from peace love sunshine at 7:44 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from MamaMockingbird at 8:41 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 2:18 am on July 4, 2009
Quote: from musicfan3 at 11:54 am on July 3, 2009
Well one babies aren't cheap. They have lots of expenses. A teenager with no education is not going to have the job skills to be able to obtain a job to fully provide and support for their child. 
They actually are. People make them expensive by making unwise or extensive purchases. Parents who insist on nurseries and designer clothes and buying everything new. People make babies expensive because they turn them into little cult/designer objects. Babies essentially need diapers, clothes, a simple safe place to sleep and food. 
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
Coming from someone...with no kids. LOL. 
Just because I'm not a mother doesn't mean I can't know this stuff.
I agree. You don't have to be a teen mom to learn from them. We have lots of teen moms here.
------- http://www.last.fm/user/Musicfanx3 NEW LASTFM
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musicfan3
Visionary
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Quote: from Chava at 7:29 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from musicfan3 at 8:26 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 6:09 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
I think at the height of our diaper use, we spent $100 maybe $150/month on diapers. Teenagers spend nearly that much on one video game ($60-$80 not including tax). Growing is free. I spent maybe $100-$200/YEAR on clothes because I wasn't a vain idiot and I bought second-hand. Kids use things so shortly that most clothes are in perfect condition but I paid 50 cents for the tshirts instead of $15+. Transportation depends on your area. I personally walk and take the bus an unlimited monthly bus pass is $75/month. Medical is an issue if you're down in the States, but it's not too bad here in Canada. Dental isn't covered but most kids don't even see a Dentist here until 2-3. Hunter saw one for the first time a few months ago and I think we paid $80 for the visit which happens once a year. *shrug* It's all in how you choose to do it. They actually become more expensive as they get older. 
Thank you for emphasizing my point Peace love sunshine. To dunebag I ask, if it so cheap and apparently you don't need an education, I suppose a teen mother could get all the money to pay for all of these expenses by flipping burgers? This was just the point I was trying to make earlier but I guess you didn't get it. 
Actually they can/ Oscar works at Chuck E Cheese and I work at a gas station. 
Well here minimum wage is $6.55 an hour and lol it doesn't do much for anyone.
------- http://www.last.fm/user/Musicfanx3 NEW LASTFM
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JennyColada
I'm watching you.
Patron
Support Leader
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Quote: from Chava at 5:29 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from musicfan3 at 8:26 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 6:09 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
I think at the height of our diaper use, we spent $100 maybe $150/month on diapers. Teenagers spend nearly that much on one video game ($60-$80 not including tax). Growing is free. I spent maybe $100-$200/YEAR on clothes because I wasn't a vain idiot and I bought second-hand. Kids use things so shortly that most clothes are in perfect condition but I paid 50 cents for the tshirts instead of $15+. Transportation depends on your area. I personally walk and take the bus an unlimited monthly bus pass is $75/month. Medical is an issue if you're down in the States, but it's not too bad here in Canada. Dental isn't covered but most kids don't even see a Dentist here until 2-3. Hunter saw one for the first time a few months ago and I think we paid $80 for the visit which happens once a year. *shrug* It's all in how you choose to do it. They actually become more expensive as they get older. 
Thank you for emphasizing my point Peace love sunshine. To dunebag I ask, if it so cheap and apparently you don't need an education, I suppose a teen mother could get all the money to pay for all of these expenses by flipping burgers? This was just the point I was trying to make earlier but I guess you didn't get it. 
Actually they can/ Oscar works at Chuck E Cheese and I work at a gas station. 
I'm also pretty sure I recall you making topics about you getting welfare and living with your parents. Unless I'm getting confused with someone else (which is possible).
------- So when you're happy (Hurray!), or sad (Aw!), Or frightened (Eeek!), or mad (Rats!) An interjection starts a sentence right.
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1:20 pm on July 8, 2009 | Joined: July 2002 | Days Active: 1,868 Join to learn more about JennyColada California, United States | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 58,688 | Points: 100,643
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Chava
Visionary
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Quote: from JennyColada at 4:20 pm on July 8, 2009
Quote: from Chava at 5:29 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from musicfan3 at 8:26 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 6:09 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
I think at the height of our diaper use, we spent $100 maybe $150/month on diapers. Teenagers spend nearly that much on one video game ($60-$80 not including tax). Growing is free. I spent maybe $100-$200/YEAR on clothes because I wasn't a vain idiot and I bought second-hand. Kids use things so shortly that most clothes are in perfect condition but I paid 50 cents for the tshirts instead of $15+. Transportation depends on your area. I personally walk and take the bus an unlimited monthly bus pass is $75/month. Medical is an issue if you're down in the States, but it's not too bad here in Canada. Dental isn't covered but most kids don't even see a Dentist here until 2-3. Hunter saw one for the first time a few months ago and I think we paid $80 for the visit which happens once a year. *shrug* It's all in how you choose to do it. They actually become more expensive as they get older. 
Thank you for emphasizing my point Peace love sunshine. To dunebag I ask, if it so cheap and apparently you don't need an education, I suppose a teen mother could get all the money to pay for all of these expenses by flipping burgers? This was just the point I was trying to make earlier but I guess you didn't get it. 
Actually they can/ Oscar works at Chuck E Cheese and I work at a gas station. 
I'm also pretty sure I recall you making topics about you getting welfare and living with your parents. Unless I'm getting confused with someone else (which is possible).
I think you might be confusing me with someone else. Before my son was born I was 17 and had a job a Krogers. I didn't qualify for insurance or FMLA leave so I was on Medicaid for the pregnancy and beforehand because I had been emancipated from foster care. It was a standard handout for someone in my situation as opposed to I went and applied for it. After the pregnancy though Oscar had a job and I soon thereafter found one as well. We did live with his parents for 6-7 months paying them rent and saving up to move out. Oscar was still 17 and we moved out in January when he turned 18. But that was only because we couldn't move out while he was 17. That might be what you're reffering to. But as soon as we found a job we were off of the insurance. We've never had foodstamps or assisted housing.
------- Enrique's (21 months) and Chase's (2 months) mommy www.myspace.com/Chaya77
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1:31 pm on July 8, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2006 | Days Active: 454 Join to learn more about Chava Ohio, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 5,089 | Points: 8,873
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musicfan3
Visionary
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Quote: from JennyColada at 3:20 pm on July 8, 2009
Quote: from Chava at 5:29 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from musicfan3 at 8:26 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from dunebug at 6:09 pm on July 7, 2009
Quote: from peace love sunshine at 3:17 pm on July 7, 2009
Are you serious? Babies ARE expensive, even with just the basic neccessities. Think about how many diapers they go through, and how fast they grow. Also, the cost of raising a baby includes transportation expenses. And what if you have to work? Then you have to factor in child care. There's also doctor expenses, to make sure your baby is in good health. It's more than just car seats and clothes.
I think at the height of our diaper use, we spent $100 maybe $150/month on diapers. Teenagers spend nearly that much on one video game ($60-$80 not including tax). Growing is free. I spent maybe $100-$200/YEAR on clothes because I wasn't a vain idiot and I bought second-hand. Kids use things so shortly that most clothes are in perfect condition but I paid 50 cents for the tshirts instead of $15+. Transportation depends on your area. I personally walk and take the bus an unlimited monthly bus pass is $75/month. Medical is an issue if you're down in the States, but it's not too bad here in Canada. Dental isn't covered but most kids don't even see a Dentist here until 2-3. Hunter saw one for the first time a few months ago and I think we paid $80 for the visit which happens once a year. *shrug* It's all in how you choose to do it. They actually become more expensive as they get older. 
Thank you for emphasizing my point Peace love sunshine. To dunebag I ask, if it so cheap and apparently you don't need an education, I suppose a teen mother could get all the money to pay for all of these expenses by flipping burgers? This was just the point I was trying to make earlier but I guess you didn't get it. 
Actually they can/ Oscar works at Chuck E Cheese and I work at a gas station. 
I'm also pretty sure I recall you making topics about you getting welfare and living with your parents. Unless I'm getting confused with someone else (which is possible).
Nope. You are getting yourself confused. I have a disability yes, and maybe you've seen those topics. I live with my parents but I work and contribute as well as paying taxes.
------- http://www.last.fm/user/Musicfanx3 NEW LASTFM
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