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( WickedWiccan )
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I have this uncle who's my mom's brother. He's a guy, true, but he's always been cool with me and he's very intelligent. We always talk about everything. Movies, politics, music, food, and life in general. I was telling him about breaking up with my boyfriend because he hadn't heard about it yet. We got into the subject of sex and the conversation wasn't dirty or pervy (he's not like that and has never been). It was very matter of fact and cool, like I'd never be able to have with anybody else because he always takes me seriously. So anyway, at some point he stopped talking and said: "You know, you should ask your mother about this or some of your friends, because I could go to jail for even talking to you about it." I laughed and dropped it, but it made me feel very awkward and we kind of sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Then he changed the subject and started talking about the food he was eating and then to the movie we'd just seen (Public Enemies, which I liked by the way). So I wanted to know what everybody thought about what happened and what he said. Do you think he was overreacting?
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I think he may have been, yeah. Just didn't want to get in a sticky situation.
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"Un croquis vaut mieux qu'un long discours."
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( WickedWiccan )
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Quote: from KayKayKay at 2:47 am on July 10, 2009
 probably, i mean as long as he didnt tell you to practice on him, i think hes in the green.
He's not that kind of person. What I'm thinking whether I should ask him why he said that, or if I should just drop it like he asked.
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jsia
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Nah not really, I guess it just kinda crossed his mind, and was giving you an out incase you found it uncomfortable.
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11:57 pm on July 9, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2006 | Days Active: 236
Join to learn more about jsia Australia | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 14,513 | Points: 23,626
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( WickedWiccan )
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All the answers so far make sense to me. Thank you!
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Gruadia
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Do you have a father? Because I don't, and he could be your "father" in your mind. Maybe not knowing but in a subconscious way you feel like he's your father so you get into deep conversations.
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9:03 am on July 10, 2009 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 37
Join to learn more about Gruadia Illinois, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 392 | Points: 822
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( WickedWiccan )
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Quote: from Gruadia at 12:03 pm on July 10, 2009
Do you have a father? Because I don't, and he could be your "father" in your mind. Maybe not knowing but in a subconscious way you feel like he's your father so you get into deep conversations.
I do have a dad and he lives with us, but he's rarely around and is never willing to talk about anything serious with me. I hadn't thought about what you just said, though.
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Mimic
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It sounds like your uncle cares about you and wants to discuss things with you that he thinks you are comfortable with, which you have shown him you are comfortable discussing private issues with him. However, I think he is just a little concerned with the level of communication and possibly someone taking what you have discussed the the wrong way. It sounds like he's just watching his back, which is perfectly understandable. Just talk to him again if it comes up, but don't push these subjects if he might be uncomfortable. Or trying to watch his back, which is quite normal. Don't ask him why he dropped it, I think what he said was enough. You're placing trust in him, maybe talk to your mother and explain to her that you're comfortable talking to her brother in some detail about your relationships and what goes on in them, and ask her if she's ok about this. And if the subject comes up again, just say to him "my mum knows, she's cool with us talking, I thought as long as another adult knew about it, no-one could misconstrue it. I trust you and want to continue having you as a confidant" :-)
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( WickedWiccan )
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Quote: from Mimic at 3:22 pm on July 10, 2009
It sounds like your uncle cares about you and wants to discuss things with you that he thinks you are comfortable with, which you have shown him you are comfortable discussing private issues with him. However, I think he is just a little concerned with the level of communication and possibly someone taking what you have discussed the the wrong way. It sounds like he's just watching his back, which is perfectly understandable. Just talk to him again if it comes up, but don't push these subjects if he might be uncomfortable. Or trying to watch his back, which is quite normal. Don't ask him why he dropped it, I think what he said was enough. You're placing trust in him, maybe talk to your mother and explain to her that you're comfortable talking to her brother in some detail about your relationships and what goes on in them, and ask her if she's ok about this. And if the subject comes up again, just say to him "my mum knows, she's cool with us talking, I thought as long as another adult knew about it, no-one could misconstrue it. I trust you and want to continue having you as a confidant" :-)
That's another good idea. Thank you. 
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