Sorry Mods, I know about posting in the sam thread if multiple jokes are going up, but I promise seeing as this is my second topic, I won't post any more for a good few hours

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Longest Scream

Three friends decided to bet each other $100 on who could make their wives scream more from sex.

They all go home to have sex with their wives and make them scream.

The next day the meet. The first friend says, "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming for at least 1 1/2 hours."

The second friend says, "That's nothing, I start licking my wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and half hour after that."

The third friend says, " That's nothing, I made love to my wife for ten minutes, I came a couple times I wiped my Dick in the curtain and she's still screaming."

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One day in class the teacher has sex education.On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is.In the back ofthe room, Little Johnny stands and says "That's a penis,and my father has two of them". The teacher looks surprised and asks "What do you mean, two?" Little Johnny responds, "A little one to pee, and a big one to brush the baby sitter's teeth."

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A man dies with an erection. Unfortunately, rigor mortis sets in and his stiffy stays, well, stiff. Horrified because the coffin lid won't close, the undertaker phones the man's wife. She tells him to cut off her late husband's dick and shove it up his ass.
Quite amazed that he hadn't thought of that ingenious idea himself, the undertaker does it.
The next day is the day of the funeral. The dead guy's wife asks for the coffin lid to be taken off so she may se her husband one last time.
His face is really, REALLY screwed up as if he's in a lot of pain, despite dying peacefully in his sleep. And tears are in his eyes.
"See, I told you having a dick up there was painful, inconsiderate bastard!" the wife says.

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1 tym ai saw a pen15. ha ha hah hahaha

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..>.< You are immature and retarded.

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As makeup runs down on your cheeks, you found that you are lost again.
Try to make your way back home, found that you're alone - ETF &a