and i couldnt even tell him why i am upset. i just need to know how to deal with this, how to move forward in my relationship and put the past behind me. because i feel like if i tell him i will not only lose him, but i will also hurt him very badly, and i cant stand to see that. it will break my heart, and it would be a selfish thing to do. i want to be honest but i cant.

please talk to me,
please tell me how to cope.

Post edited at 12:41 pm on Jan. 6, 2009 by Aliboo

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"Tell them to look up, tell them to remember the stars." Renee, TWLOHA.com

Anyway, you seem very upset and stressed out about the situation. You know, I would want to know if I was cheated on no matter what. But I guess some may be better left unknown. However, if you have a two-year history with the person you cheated on your boyfriend, how do you know that you will not do it again? If you choose not to tell your boyfriend about your infidelity, you must swear and swear that you will never do such a thing again. I can not condone such behavior because as I have said before, I find it very disrespectful and awful. However, to each his own, I suppose.

I still think you need to tell him. You may need time to think about it and think of what to say to him, but I strongly recommend you tell him the truth. It will definitely show you have more respect for him this way. He is your boyfriend and I think if you want to remain with him, you must be able to share anything and everything with him... no matter what it is, and even if there is alot to say and explain to him about the event.

If you choose not to tell him, just know that the guilt may never go away. It may always be with you, and it may haunt you for a very long time. Because of this, you may end up just upset and depressed at times, sometimes more often than happy, and it could lead to the end of your relationship anyway.

You could honestly regret what you've done with all of your heart, but the memory will forever remain with you. If you choose to keep it a secret from him, have you decided what you will do about this other friend of yours? If you two have a history together, then it will be difficult to let go and cut her out of your life completely. But if you want to stay with your boyfriend and never repeat the action again, you just might have to forget about her completely and focus all of your undivided attention on your man.

And as I have said before, if you choose to tell him you cheated on him, but have trouble doing so, try writing it out. Write down what you would say to him. Read it over and over and revise it, and then read it to him... or you could e-mail it to him. It is really up to you. If you e-mail it to him, you could be avoiding him interrupting you, and you could just get everything off of your chest all at once.

Whatever you do, if you stay with your boyfriend, I just hope you do not repeat what you have done. I wish you the best of luck.

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