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  LiveWire / College Forums / College Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

on a "break"
Replies: 7 — Last Post Jan. 6 10:51am by chikichicky
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( missyjean89 )


Quality Control Engineer 		Reply
So my boyfriend broke up with me last Monday (yeah right after X-mas and right before new years...) and I am completely broken hearted. The reason why he broke it off is what my issue is though. We were only together for a little over 3 months (this is going to sound insane, but it didnt seem like that short of a time period) but we were (still are) in love. Within the first 2 weeks of being exclusive we both felt it, in fact, he said it on the day i was planning on it. I never questioned anything about us, he is 24 and I am 19... and i knew the possiblity of him wanting to be very serious from the beginning even though he thought he was only looking for a light fun relationship, and it didnt scare me. However, the reason he broke it off with me is because he felt that if he didnt break it off now, we would be married before long, and he was afraid we would end up in a loveless marriage. While we are very similar in likes and dislikes and everything, we have different views on the world and that's what he's afraid of splitting us up. i am a roman catholic and he is agnostic... he grew up in a different area than me and has more experience with the world than me... but i dont think he knows how little this matters. Since the breakup we have talked everyday and we decided to make it a break instead of a break up. In 3 more weeks we are sitting down and discussing the future, which he is confused on. I need help... is it possible to be with someone who doesnt see the world the same as you? is it possible to be happy a year or 4 or 18 or 50 down the road if we dont see everything eye to eye? is love enough? when he began dating around, he wasnt looking for marriage,but with me, he thinks that is how it will end... does that mean anything?

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Shazaaaaaam
4:30 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: May 2007 | Days Active: 60
Join to learn more about missyjean89 Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 159 | Points: 785
xxiloveyouohh


Quality Control Engineer 		Reply
idk. i think hes not telling you something.

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Save a Wave;; Ride a surfer (:
4:32 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 48
Join to learn more about xxiloveyouohh New Jersey, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 263 | Points: 761
See Me Now


Guru
Sustainer 		Reply
Seeing the world differently, for me, is almost necessary. If you two can have mature discussions about your differences, then you should be fine. If it always turns into an argument, it's probably best that you don't get back together. If you live with someone who constantly agrees with you, I think things would get boring. Two open minds who can discuss differences would be necessary for the two of you.

Love is never enough. you have to work on things, cooperate, and co-exist. Making a marriage work is work. You can't expect love to be enough for anyone, and as long as the two of you keep working on your relationship and keep open minds about your differences, things should go well.

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You Save My Life Everyday

~*~Jman19~*~*My hero~*~

4:33 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 212
Join to learn more about See Me Now Oregon, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 14,208 | Points: 23,130
kiss me xo miss me


Soothsayer
Patron 		Reply
my parents got married 3 months after meeting each other and they can still bare the sight of each other.
4:33 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: July 2006 | Days Active: 626
Join to learn more about kiss me xo miss me Palestinian Territory | Female | Posts: 5,028 | Points: 10,900
( missyjean89 )


Quality Control Engineer 		Reply
we never actually fight, we talk about all of our differences like adults. we might disagree on things but we are very careful with each other's beliefs, and we are sensitive to it.

part of me thinks that he is afriad cause his parents are still married but in a loveless one, but out of 10 couples i know... only 1 is divorced. Im afraid he thinks we'll turn into his parents.

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Shazaaaaaam

4:37 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: May 2007 | Days Active: 60
Join to learn more about missyjean89 Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 159 | Points: 785
definite124


Professional 		Reply
i dont see anything wrong here..

Having Different worldly views is not or atleast should not be a reason for breakup.... if u and him we alike then it would be boring thats like having a mini me

maybe u should talk to him and ask wats goin on

maybe his self consumed thoughts of marriage are scaring him

7:55 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: April 2006 | Days Active: 157
Join to learn more about definite124 Canada | Posts: 606 | Points: 2,193
QisQ


Wealthy Hobo 		Reply
Scared of marriage already? Gezzz. Take it slow. You been dating for 3 months, why is he scared. You know most people date for a long time before making that kind of commitment. So talk with him. Let him know that you can take it slow as he wants.

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"Life is a beautiful struggle." - Talib Kwali
9:41 pm on Jan. 5, 2009 | Joined: May 2006 | Days Active: 435
Join to learn more about QisQ Virginia, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 521 | Points: 4,895
chikichicky


Executive
Ad Free
Support Leader 		Reply
A fear that is quite valid, but he has to remember he's not his parents. He is his own unique individual and can create his own character that he can be satisfied with. He can start by first analyzing what exactly went wrong in his parents' marriage and then take steps towards preventing that from happening in his own relationship. We live and we learn from both our own mistakes and other people's.

One thing that he shouldn't be doing is letting his fears run his life. Sure, there's a possibility that things might go sour and if he continues to believe it, it's already happened. Both of you need to have faith in your relationship and each other. Take the necessary steps to build towards a healthy relationship together. If you let all your insecurities and worries get the better of you, you're never going to be happy in the relationship and it will not grow.

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Zerg rush!

10:51 am on Jan. 6, 2009 | Joined: June 2003 | Days Active: 275
Join to learn more about chikichicky British Columbia, Canada | Straight Female | Posts: 334 | Points: 3,684
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