LiveWire Network Peer Answers Peer Support Teen Forums Tech Forums College Forums 448 users online 221563 members 557 active today Advertise Here Sign In
TeenCollegeTechPhotos | Quizzes | LiveSecret | Memberlist | Dictionary | News | FAQ
Member Spotlight
sadnessness
Interests: guitar, drums, music, english, list...
Mood: Bored
You have 1 new message.
Emergency Help
Until you sign up you can't do much. Yes, it's free.

Sign Up Now
Membername:
Password:
Already have an account?
Invite Friends
Active Members
Groups
Contests
Moderators
3 online / 27 MPM
Fresh Topics
  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

i wrote this suicide note because i almost did it
Replies: 2Last Post July 3 7:44pm by xestrangedx
Welcome to LiveWire!
We're Stronger Together.
Join the Community
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite
( kelley187 )


Executive
Reply
I was beyond breaking point. I wrote my final good byes and was ready to go.
No one knows how close I was. I wanted to tell someone really really bad.
But I coudn't, and thats why I'm putting it on here.

Here it is:

Dear everyone that thought they were helping me,
You weren't. Listening would have helped. Maybe some talking. Pills don't word for me. Neither do professional strangers you've been trying to force me to talk to. Josh H- if it weren't for you I don't think I would have lived as long as I did. I'm not trying to point blame at anybody, because it's all my fault. That's why I put myself out of my misery. Thanks for trying mom. I really appriciate it. But it's nearly impossible to keep all 3 of your kids happy. Sorry Ross. I don't really know what to say about you except now that I'm gone, you won't be held back in life. I won't be fucking your life up the way I seem to have done to everyone else's. It kind of bums me out I'll never get to see dad again; since he's with the angels while I'm burning in the pits of hell. My pain was ignored and discouraged for far to long. I see myself with an unsuccessful future. So what's the point of trying when I've been proven a long-time failure at life all together?
A little note to Josh M-keep playing your guitar. I know you want to give up because you think your no good, but you really are. Sorry I couldn't make you happy either. I always wanted kids when I got older, but the other day I looked in the mirror and took a good look at what I've become. I'd just fuck up the life of some guy. No one would stick around long enough for kids to come around. But I can't blame them. I could be wrong, but I didn't feel the need to stick around and find out. I'm sorry to all the lives I've brought misery to. I hope now a weight has been lifted and your a little better now. I didn't try to be a burden.
There's nothing really left for me to say except Good Bye.

                              -Kelley

p.s. whoever sees him first, tell dad I say hi.  


5:08 pm on May 27, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 184
Join to learn more about kelley187 Minnesota, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,745 | Points: 3,637
LiveWire Humor
Kinky Kitten


Executive

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
Its a touching good bye, id say if i was close to you i would find it very touching.

The only thing is you mentioned all these things that you want people to know but apparently haven't told them, maybe to get away from the feelings your experiencing it would help if you tell people whats on your mind. You tell your mom that strangers don't help and you need someone close to talk to. Tell that josh guy to keep playing the guitar and that he is good. It might change your life a bit to the positive.

The only thing is, the note does make it seem like your blaming people on your death...that they failed to help you. I know you might not mean it that way but if you had done something drastic to yourself and said


Dear everyone that thought they were helping me,
You weren't.

it would only make the people reading it regret for the rest of their lifes that they couldn't help you out. Might bring them into depression too.

I'm glad you didn't do anything to yourself, i know i might be a stranger too but I'm no professional so if you still need someone to talk to or someone to listen i can be that person.


11:41 am on June 30, 2009 | Joined: Jan. 2009 | Days Active: 165
Join to learn more about Kinky Kitten Ireland | Label Free Female | Posts: 1,753 | Points: 3,859
xestrangedx


:]

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
Hey Kelley,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are at this point in your life.

I agree with the post above me. Why don't you talk to those people that you mentioned? They seem like people that you can obviously communicate with and talk to. Maybe they are the help you need?

Can i ask what stopped you? There must have been that one thing telling you to stop. Why don't you talk to these other people first and try to focus on that instead of the suicidal thoughts?

You mention hell, are you a religious person at all? I know religion has helped me in times of suffering in my life - when i felt very lonely, lost and when my father died.
It does seem like you are blaming people - and this will be their only communication, their only answers they will have if you were to go - how can this bring answers? They sound like they are really trying to help you - why don't you tell them it isn't working and then you can maybe try a different solution that might be more successful. There is ALWAYS an option before death - always. The first or second way might just not work.

One step at a time you can start to plan for the future and if you want o be a mother you can and then go onto help other children or Young people.

I know this post is scattered and not the est advice - but if you would like to talk more, please pm me anytime. I am always here.

Take care.


7:44 pm on July 3, 2009 | Joined: Mar. 2005 | Days Active: 964
Join to learn more about xestrangedx Scotland, United Kingdom | Straight Female | Posts: 14,531 | Points: 34,247
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite

Quick Reply

Prereq. Support Leader Application
You are signed in as our guest.

Looking for something else?
 

  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic