I have many to do
Michael: Today, we are not just spending a day at the beach.
Stanley: Oh sweet mother of god.
Michael: If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus.
Stanley: Excuse me?
Michael: Or the front of the bus. Or drive the bus.
Michael: I like cuddling and spooning, and she likes... videotaping us during sex...
Pam: Oh my god!
Michael: ...and then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.
Karen: That is not healthy behavior.
Michael: No, it's not that bad. The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.
Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.
Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, Sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre.
Burns: I ought to club them and eat their bones!
1967 Parole Hearings Man: Ellis Boyd Redding, your files say you've served 40 years of a life sentence. Do you feel you've been rehabilitated?
Red: Rehabilitated? Well, now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means.
1967 Parole Hearings Man: Well, it means that you're ready to rejoin society...
Red: I know what *you* think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made up word. A politician's word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?
1967 Parole Hearings Man: Well, are you?
Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.
Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope.
Red: [narrating] Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.
Walt Kowalski: [sneering and aiming his gun] Get off my lawn!
Father Janovich: Why didn't you call the police?
Walt Kowalski: Well you know, I prayed for them to come but nobody answered.
Smokie: Are you fucking crazy? Go back in the house.
Walt Kowalski: Yeah? I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house... and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fucks like you five feet high in Korea... use ya for sandbags.
Borat: You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?
These are just a few of many great quotes from my favorite movies and shows. Honestly I don't have a favorite.
Live to bowl, bowl to live