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 LiveWire Humor
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sassbidefan89
Lawn Care Specialist
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any line from superbad
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dumb whore
Novice
 Patron
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'uh hi bonnie, this is big fat paulie... and this is his big fat ass' - peter griffin!
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She rocks!!!!
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8:40 pm on April 1, 2008 | Joined: July 2006 | Days Active: 762
Join to learn more about dumb whore Louisiana, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 12,000 | Points: -23,329
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Anonymous
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 This makes me laugh.
A mom finds her son half naked in his apartment with another guy. (Yes, he's gay). She's religious. She doesn't say anything, just runs to the elevator. The son comes after to her, and waits for her to say something.
Mom: I hope you know its a sin.
Son: What, that I fuck guys, or that I didn't tell you?
hehe :) btw that's from Queer as Folk.
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LudovicoTechnique
Omnipotent One
Patron
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So in the end, was it worth it? How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last day of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.
-George Jung from Blow(2001)
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salvation à la mode and a cup of tea.
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amiee
Guru
Patron
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"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?" "So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change, I'm going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die." Renton: "We're the lowest of the fucking low, the scum of the earth, the most wretched, servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English, but I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete arseholes. It's a shite state of affairs and all the fresh air in the world will not make any fucking difference." Trainspotting, of course.
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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see
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11:30 am on April 14, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2005 | Days Active: 1,267
Join to learn more about amiee Scotland, United Kingdom | Posts: 9,834 | Points: 21,295
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AmeliaEnit
Professional
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''frankly my dear...''
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police disco lights
Omnipotent One
Patron
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"It happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant." - Gordie Lachance, Stand By Me.
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And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
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OHLOL
Dairy Product Addict
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."
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FFFFFF
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12:53 am on June 6, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 210
Join to learn more about OHLOL Texas, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 106 | Points: 2,306
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fly boy
Professional
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'you know you could poke somones EYE out with that thing?'
we already saved the last passengers ace'
'but what about the animal cargo!?'
'it's just one little racoon,ace if i were you i'd turn back now'
'yea but if you were me then i'd be you! and i'd use your body to get the to the top...you cant stop me no matter who you are! hahaha loser!'
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1:15 am on June 6, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 143
Join to learn more about fly boy England, United Kingdom | Straight Male | Posts: 693 | Points: 2,175
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Joe68
Grasshopper
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"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." "Go ahead, make my day." "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" "You want the truth? You want the truth? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!" "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." "You're gonna need a bigger boat." "Say hello to my little friend!" "Hasta la vista, baby." Post edited at 7:33 am on June 8, 2008 by Joe68
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7:28 am on June 8, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 4
Join to learn more about Joe68 Hawaii, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 9 | Points: 50
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