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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

So excited
Replies: 4Last Post April 13 1:37pm by amiee
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( ladybughope )


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ok my dad and i dont get along at all i cant stand the man. im usually one of those types that just takes all his crap and walks away and never fights back. ok so he was yelling at me bout something last night and i just had enough i  wasnt in the mood so i told him im not listening to him and i shut the door and went to bed... i ended up listening to him but he didnt know it till this morning. so the question is should i stand up to him more ofter of just put up with it and should i have listened to him or continued to rebel?  

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I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING!!! ♥♥♥

7:09 am on April 8, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2008 | 40 Days Active
Join to learn more about ladybughope Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | 390 Posts | 917 Points
Gatitax3


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I think you should stand up to him more often to let him know how you feel, don't necessarily rebel, but just let him know that you don't need to be told what to do all the time and although you respect him, you don't want him to live your life, you want to lie it yourself.

Of-course say it with politeness, don't be rude about it, or it will just get you no where. :)

Good luck!

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Wiifey- Stiicky Iicky---Hubby- Blackreign
Secret Lovers- xxfuked upxx & look over here
Sex Slaves- PS2luvr & baby gothica


2:08 pm on April 8, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 188 Days Active
Join to learn more about Gatitax3 Virginia, United States | Straight Female | 12765 Posts | 15469 Points
kendall716


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Hey there,

As a fellow teenager that rarely gets along with her parents, I understand where you are coming from in all of this. In fact, I'm sure that at some point every teenager has felt like this. It's always hard for us to remember that as much as we want  to be, we are not the adults. I know sometimes it may seem as if your father is completely wrong, but often times our parents know what really is the best for us.

If your dad doesn't let you go out that much, it should be taken as an honor. He is probably just worried about your safety. Having a dad that cares so much is a blessing, you should want to spend time with him. If he doesn't let you go out somewhere, don't talk back just respect him and the decision that he has made. Once again, it is probably the best one.

If your dad gets angry without lidgitimate reasons to be angry, you should still respect him. Regardless if it is fair or not, he is still your father at the end of the day. Until you are over the age of eighteen he is your parent and deserves the respect. You shouldn't ever talk back to your parents or slam doors on them. Listen to them, (or at least amuse them and pretend to listen) and he will probably respect you more.

You'll find that when you don't talk back to your parents as much, they will see it as you maturing. If your father asks you to do something and you comply without arguing, he will see you as mature and is more likely to give in to something that you enjoy. Keeping your relationship good is always the best option. Please each other by being nice or at least cordial. If he asks you something, answer. If he lectures you, listen. If he tells you to do your chores, do them. This will ultimately gain you the respect that you won't get by slamming a door in his face.

The most important question is this;
Has your father ever physically abused you?

If he has, this is a completely different thing. You shouldn't talk back because this will just fire him up more. however, you should definitely speak out. Tell the authorities, or your teachers at school. No one has to live under constant abuse. Don't believe that just because he is your father, he has the right to hurt you.

Note: if he "spanks" you; that is not abuse. By abuse I mean hitting, pulling hair, scratching, etc.

If he does this, please seek help immediately.

Chances are it is not the latter, but your dad is just in constant concern for your care. We all understand how annoying it is when parents don't trust us. Just showcase some maturity towards him and he is more likely to believe that you really can handle such situations by yourself.

If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me.

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Antidisestablishmentarianism.


4:25 pm on April 10, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2007 | 207 Days Active
Join to learn more about kendall716 Texas, United States | Metrosexual Female | 7079 Posts | 23007 Points
greeneyedone


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I think when it comes down to how to deal with your parents, it all depends on your parents. My father has always been the type that cools me and down when I am upset and we talk about it later. I yell, he doesnt, and then I get over it.

If your dad is the yeller, I would continue to ignore him. Eventually he will learn that yelling at you is not going to make you do things the way he wants them. He will learn to adapt to ways to ask you to do things, and will stop yelling at you.

He might also just continue to yell and such, but I would give it a shot and see what happens if you continue to ignore him. If he doesnt catch on very fast, tell him "Dad, do you realize yelling at me is not going to make me want to do things for you anymore?" And see how he takes that.

I really hope everything works out. Good luck.

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Thanks everyone for the points. I love you all.


12:23 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 396 Days Active
Join to learn more about greeneyedone Texas, United States | Straight Female | 5500 Posts | 24060 Points
amiee


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Well, to be completely honest, I don't advise that you "rebel" at all. In my opinion, it'll only strain your relationship even more with your dad, and will only make you home life even worse, and I'm sure you don't want that, right? However, I DO think that it's a really positive thing that you stood up for yourself. You're growing up now, and if you feel that your dad is being unfair or if there's something you want to do that he disagrees with, standing up for your beliefs can be a good thing. I don't suggest that you walk away from him or completely disregard his views, because again, I think that'll only get you into even more trouble.

Figuring out how to live a happy home life when you don't get on with a parent can be truly difficult, and I'm sorry that you don't get on well with him. However, your home life can be made bearable and you can figure out a way to live at home feeling content. It'll just take a little effort and work, yeah? Now, if you don't get on with him, that's fine. We're all different from our parents, we're our own people and sometimes we just don't click with our parents. That's perfectly ok, but at the end of the day, you ARE going to have to figure out how to live with him without arguing 24/7. One thing I don't recommend is just shutting up all your emotions, though, yeah? Don't just take it all, again and again, because eventually it'll get to you so badly and you'll get to a really crappy place emotionally, y'know? He is your dad, and showing him some respect is probably the best thing to do, but showing respect doesn't mean that he can hurt you emotionally. If he's being vicious or nasty to you, you DON'T have to take that.  So, what is it you should do? Well - talk to him. If there are certain restrictions and you're unhappy with them, talk to him about it. Show him that you're listening to him, but present your side of the argument too (and by this, I don't mean have a screaming match. You can express your emotions just as well, and more effectively, by talking). If he's making you feel bad emotionally, then I really think it'd be in your best interests to talk to him about it, and explain why it's upsetting you. Or, if you don't feel too comfortable with talking to him, try giving talking to someone else a go. Your mum, if she's around, or another family member.

Other than that, I suggest you carry on as you do. When he's yelling at you (sometimes that's just how people express themselves) I suggest that you just carry on doing what you are because yelling back won't get you very far at all. At a calmer time, when he's chilled out, it might really help for you to mention that you really dislike all the yelling and you'd be more inclined to listen to him if he actually had a conversation with you rather than a shouting match, y'know? Do listen to him, yes. But remember that listening to him doesn't mean you can't express your own opinions and emotions.

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and i wanted to ride with Yuri Gagarin
as he circled all around my world


1:37 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 939 Days Active
Join to learn more about amiee Scotland, United Kingdom | 7602 Posts | 16296 Points
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