Since April 4th Ive felt awful, after "hitting white" whilst smoking cannabis with my friends, this triggered what the doctors are calling Health anxiety, basically i thought i was so close to death that I've been literally scared out of my mind.. So in summary, I've had nothing right to do in my life, I've lost friends, I've been to see 7 different doctors and counseling groups OVER 20 times in all, and all of them said you've got health anxiety, they prescribed me Proponolol which is a beta blocker to slow my heart rate down so i have panic attacks less frequently and to help with some other symptoms of anxiety.

Ok, so any of you who don't know what anxiety is I'll break it down for you here:

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Anxiety
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When is anxiety a problem?

We all become anxious from time to time. It becomes a problem when it interferes with life in the absence of real threat, or goes on too long after the danger has past.

What if I just avoid things that make me anxious?

Avoiding situations that make you anxious might help you feel better in the short term. The trouble is the anxiety keeps returning, and has a habit of spreading to other situations. This can lead to you avoiding things like shops, crowded places, lectures or tutorials. So although avoidance makes you feel better-

Relief is only temporary - you may worry about what will happen next time.

Every time you avoid something it is harder next time you try to face it.

Gradually you want to avoid more and more things.

Symptoms

Smothering sensations and shortness of breath
Racing heart, slow heart beat, palpitations
Chest Pain
'Lump in throat' and difficulty swallowing
Blanching (colour loss in the skin)
Excessive Perspiration (sweating)
Shaking or shivering (visibly or internally)
Pain or numbness in the head, face, neck or shoulders
Rapid gastric emptying
Indigestion, heartburn, constipation and diarrhoea
Sexual Dysfunction
Symptoms of urinary tract infection
Skin rashes
Weakness/tingling in arms, hands or feet
'Electric shock' feelings (anywhere in the body)
Dry mouth
Insomnia
Nightmares
Fears of going mad or losing control

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Right, all of them apart from anything to do with my skin and when i go to the toilet, i suffer from, that cannot be coincidence? I'll break down into each of the main things that happen in my life:

I'm goner keep switching between topics here and pick and chose my words because I'm basically writing this freelance as it pops into my head.

Right, if i drink on a Thursday, I'll wake up Friday hungover because apparently people with anxiety get hungover alot easier, So yeah, i shouldn't drink but I'm a 17 year old lad, its what we do. So that aside, and back on topic, I'll still feel drunk on the Sunday? its like, when i drink my anxiety is worse till the Monday then I'm fine till the Thursday, so your all now going to say, "Ok Adam, avoid drink.. your an idiot, blah blah blah" but all in all i tried that, i didn't feel worse i didn't feel better.

Right the 2nd thing, my eyesight always feel tired, like that feeling when its about 2 am and you've had a long day? well thats the easiest way i can describe what goes on ALL day, from the second i wake up till the moment i fall asleep, i feel worn out and run down.

Most people would call that depression, the worn out and basically, losing the will to live feeling, I've asked doctors they don't think I'm depressed as i can still go out to "town" and have a great time.. I've spoken to my parents about it and they are a REAL good supporting pair, they have both been here for me throughout, thats pretty much all i can put on the depression front,

Ok, I'm goner put this in just for "dramatic effect" I'm a 17 year old male and I'm crying thinking about how messed up my life has become? I'm a messed up kid as my friends like to call me, i don't quite understand why, but i somehow agree with them, I'm just totally confused, and almost in a drunk/high state?

I've TRAWLED the Internet looking for this, and numerous things have been suggested(labyrinths, anxiety, ear infections and so on) but I've never struck on anything thats helped..

The doctors, obviously have been trained for years to spot what my symptoms are and what I'm suffering from, and for 5/7 to say that its anxiety, even a walk in center nurse(the very first person i saw) could tell me that it was anxiety without doing any tests,

The things that mainly helped me are learning relaxation techniques and learnt how to think, yeno what, i don't want to feel panicy today, i'm going to just stop! now although thats a great outlook on it, its never going to work, Although i'd love to be able to just think "i'm done with this, i'm going back to normal" thats just not how it works, CBT(Cognitive behavioral therapy) is probs the best thing that helped me through the WORST of it, and made it easier on me, but it did not cure it, The one thing that keeps me going, is knowing it cannot last forever.

After writing all this, i some how feel better, like my problems are shared with everyone on livewire, i understand that I'll probs get "troll" responses but I'm grateful to each and everyone of you who sat here and read my "essay" on anxiety. and i know it was very messy, grammar was poor and so was the spelling, but any input from suffers or just a helping word of "what to do" would be fantastic.

To summarise:
My day to day feelings are mainly that of:
Consist-ant tiredness, from the moment i wake up to the moment i sleep.

I feel Dizzy/drunk/high CONSTANTLY no matter what i do, if I'm sitting down or if I'm walking round, i don't feel myself.

they are the main 2, but the pains in my chest, the panic attacks and all the rest just get me down, and i think it is now starting to cause depression.

Thank you VERY much for all of your time,

IGA(Adam)

Post edited at 10:35 am on Aug. 20, 2010 by IGotAddicted

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Living with Anxiety

My Name is Adam, Please use it instead of IGA.