Overcoming Shyness -- LiveWire Teen Forums

You also lack confidence, I see.

And that's why he's here. There's always someone here whos's been there, done that, seen the worst of what it has to offer, and seen it turned around.

So let's attack the situation thoughtfully, shall we?

Do only the jacked jocks have girlfriends? Do only these people do ANYTHING with girls? The obvious answer is a loud no. So we've discovered that you are not hopeless, just lost. There is a means to the end, you just don't have it, and probably can't figure it out yourself at the moment. But it's there. Let's take it up another notch.

You can get a girl. The possibility is there. So how do we act on it? Well, let's see! What do girls respond to? Confidence. The jacked jocks get this in spades because of popularity and body, so it comes naturally. For the rest of us, it's a bit more daunting. Here's the kicker though. If you have confidence, nothing else matters. You can even be a jackass, and confidence will get you X distance. Of course, to get further than X, you need not be a jackass, but I'm just saying. Confidence drives half the race.

Alrighty...so we need confidence. How do we do that?! ...You have quite a bit of control over this. Never put yourself down, even if you think you're just admitting the truth. Never. Ever. You are fucking awesome, and you're gonna get what you want. Period. Adopt this mindset. As said by C. S. Lewis, if you wear a mask over yourself, you'll find yourself conforming to that mask sooner or later. Believe and you will be. Every time you look down on yourself, whether you think it's true or not, you reset back to square one. Remember that.

So now we have the road to confidence. But we're not quite done. Shyness is a factor that dwindles with confidence, but still needs to be overthrown to help build confidence at the same time. Talk to the people around you. Be loud. You don't have to make a total change all at once, but just take it in comfortable strides. Talk to that girl next to you in math class tomorrow, about the weather. Anything. Say hi. I started on this road by a very simple method that worked superbly: Acknowledge every single person you see in the hall that you know. Whether you're good friends or just kind of know them from another class. I make it a point to nod and say their name. There goes Josh from Science...I nod and say Josh in a friendly-hello-ish tone of voice. This, you should start immediately. It is easy to bring yourself into, and helps greatly with shyness and confidence, without you even realizing it.

So now we're combating the shyness/confidence situation. What else do we need? Attitude. Be friendly. Always. Even people you hate. Diplomacy is the most important aspect. Be able to get along with the smartest kid in the class and the dumbest gangsta kid. Adapt to your situation such that they look at you like an equal. If you want more clarification on this I could go off on this a bit. With the sense of diplomacy thrown into the mix, all you have to do is just set your attention on the girls. Acknolwedge the girls in the halls. Say hi. Be friendly. Smile. You don't even have to talk all that much. A few hellos go a long way. Always smile too. Never let yourself look sad. That's a turn off.

...and that's it for the moment....try it out. Keep us posted. Post any events that you thought went wrong or you thought went right. We'll keep you advised.

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And then his mind exploded.

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