He's been there for you through your depression so I don't think this is going to be any different. You two are together for a reason, you both care deeply for each other. You just have to gather up all of your courage to have a serious talk with him.

Depending on your age and sexual activity/protection it may come as a bit of a shock. You should probably be expecting that and give him a few moments to kind of 'recover' from it. Let him know what is going through your head about this, what you plan on doing. There are many options to pregnancies and it's best to put what you plan on doing out there before he starts to worry even more about that.

Your emotional state has nothing to do with your pregnancy, you can't control this or your depression. You're working on your emotional problems right now and this should not change. This is bound to put a bit more stress on it though, but I'm sure you're probably already expecting that.

The best thing for you to do though is to be somewhere comfortable and alone so the conversation can be private and in serious tones. While this is mostly in your hands you should also ask him about what he's feeling. Don't let him stay closed off and not let you into his head. You both need to be honest with each other about where you both think you two stand. Discussing financial stability, housing, etc is going to come up soon and you must be ready to discuss it. You both chose to have sex therefore this child is both of your responsibility, remember that.

I honestly think things will be fine with telling him. Try to tell him as soon as possible though so he has time in advance to take this all in and so then you can both move onto what else needs to be done. Good luck.

Posted at 1:07 am on Nov. 21, 2009

You're in a really really tough position. If there was a way to make it safer, I'd do that for you because nobody deserves to deal withe the stress and pressure of an unplanned pregnancy. But it's also great that you're choosing to not make yourself deal with this alone.

Now, onto the advice you asked for! Even though you're freaking, try to remember that he's clueless right now. When you tell him, he's going to have to deal with that initial shock that you had after taking the tests. Try to sympathize with that by staying calm when you first tell him. You can freak together later.

I definitely suggest planning when you can tell him everything. Do it when you know that neither of you has anything to do for a while. Then you can have time to talk and support each other. Also do it somewhere private so you know you won't be interrupted by others. After that, all you can really do is tell him straight out that you took tests and you're pregnant. There's no other way to say that. What's important is that you try to make the setting private, quiet and intimate. Then he can feel free to express himself to you, and you can feel free to express what's going on for you too. Really, just taking the time to make it as calm and possible will go far.

After that, don't be scared to be honest with him. About freaking and being shocked and scared and even upset. I'm quite sure he'll be feeling the same way. Just give him those first couple minutes to get over the initial shock. Then don't hold back, he's in the same boat as you. He's dealing with the same issue and will surely understand everything you're feeling.

He's your partner in this, you two have to stick together. Be open and talk together, neither of you has to handle the stress and worries alone. You have each other to lean on, don't forget that.

I know this is hard, but you can handle this. And after you tell him, you won't have to deal with everything alone anymore. And you can stop imagining every horrible way he might react because that will be over with, you'll just have someone there who understands the difficulty of being in your shoes right now.

Good luck, I hope you get a good reaction. And we're here if you need anything. Just plan as much as you can and blurt it out, get it over with instead of letting this pressure build and build.

<33 Audrey

Posted at 7:05 pm on Nov. 20, 2009