Hey love <3, I know you've been dealing with a huge amount of stress in your life lately, which makes everything that much harder for you. Your life is seemingly coming to a terrible point, but the matter of fact is that even though it is coming to a bad point, you still have the capability of standing up against the negatives which are leaving you behind in the dust. What I guess I mean is this: Instead of letting things get to you, just try to brush them off as much as you can. Just try to see the positivity in most things, while leaving the negativity behind you. Granted this is going to be hard, but sometimes we need to strive to be the best which we can be. Life wasn't meant to be easy, nor will it ever be. If we allow every situation pull us down, then where will we be when we get out to the real world? Now is where you're supposed to mess up; Your teenage years. Learn from everything that happens, and apply it to your life. For now, for later, for every moment which you can. Keep pushing forward, because even in our darkest times there is something worth living for in the end. Whether it's visible to us now, or not.
From the sounds of it, it seems like you've been going through so much that it's plain stressed you out to no belief. Perhaps this time away from school is the best for you, and like I said, look at the positives about this. It lets you cool off, get regenerated and ready for what's coming next. Sort-of like you're taking a time-out, but for an extended period of time. Your health comes before anything, even school. Your teachers are going to understand everything which is going on, especially if it's explained to them the entire situation. You're going to get back in the ball-game, just don't rush it, definitely when you're not mentally and physically stable enough to go at it. Just give yourself time for now, and know that you're going to be able to catch up eventually.
As for going back to school, it will come, but like they said, about a month from now. You can't force yourself back there, it's only going to bring a repeat to everything. The best thing I can tell you right now is to try and reflect on everything which has been happening. The good, and the bad. Think about how everythings been negatively effecting you, and how you could change it. For instance, how everyone has sat there and said it's your fault for your sister dying. It's not your fault, nor will it ever be yourself. You need to realize that those people are ignorant, hurtful people looking to break you down even further. Firstly, you shouldn't even want to associate yourself with them. Secondly, if they're going to stoop that low, do you truly feel that their opinions matter?
It's not your fault, and you need to keep telling yourself this before you cause yourself more harm. Brush past everything that's said to you, and know that she's in a better place right now. Away from danger, harm to herself, and everything else that comes with it. Remember all the good times you had together, rather than how she died and when. Just try to remember the best, and how much you both loved each other. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. <3 Hopefully this helped, and remember, your mental and physical health should come first. To make sure you're definitely able to be stable with everything. I'm so, so sorry again.
~Wayne
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