Now there could have been something in his past that has made him not be able to open up to people. So with that being said if this is the case you will just have to wait and see if he comes around and I'm sure in his own time he will but you can not push him to open up or make him. This is something he will have to do in his own time.

Now if you care about him and are crazy about him like you say you are then talk to him about this because with any relationship communication is key to solving almost anything. I recommend when you talk to him that you talk to him in a comfortable atmosphere and you make him feel comfortable. I do strongly suggest you talk to him and another thing just have patience. I am not saying wait around forever but just wait and see if he opens up on his own.

i hope this advice helps you and if you ever need someone to talk too feel free too message me.

~CadetJones2011~


Posted at 7:22 am on Nov. 7, 2009

You have to keep in mind that you knew this before hand and you still were willing to start the relationship. If you didn't like that quality in him then you should've tried to see if you could get used to it or work around it. You can't assume somebody will change just because you hope they will, that's not how anything works.

I don't really think there's a way to "make it work" as you're asking. Some people just have a quiet personality. If you want him to open up more then simply tell him that. Explain to him that you want to get closer to him and find out more of what he feels/thinks/wants/etc but unless you say something he probably isn't going to change. Obviously he's alright with the person he is and honestly it might end up being something you must accept. For all you know he might have had something in the past happen that keeps him from opening up and it might take some time for him to let you in.

At the end of the day if you really care about him and are crazy about him you will give him time. I'm not saying to wait around forever for this to happen but you need to have patience. As I said, talk to him. Communication is key in a relationship and you two need that right now. You need to keep in mind that you can't make somebody change though. Good luck.

Posted at 7:02 pm on Nov. 6, 2009

Firstly, I wanted to apologize for you not really getting that much help in your topic, but I'm glad you came to the eHelp system instead. Hopefully we can help a bit, and if not, feel free to message me afterwords if you need clarification/want to keep talking. :) But onwards!:

You gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried to give him the chance that you felt he deserved. Perhaps he was going to open up eventually, perhaps not, you still took the risk of going out with him and seeing if he'd actually change. The fact is, that sometimes people are going to remain quiet. Some people are so overwhelmingly self-conscious and unable to break out of their boxes, that they stay to themselves and go throughout life rarely bothering people here and there. Whether it be from things in his past that are bothering him and disallowing him to move on, or him being uncomfortable with the situation as a whole, who truly knows besides him. Have you tried taking in his situation as a whole? (Meaning: His life, stress, perhaps you're his first girlfriend, etc. Anything that could impact how he is.) Have you tried talking to him about this as a whole?

Chances are he's not even aware that there is a problem. Think about it, he's always been shy and kept to himself. He never went along with anything, and he never really spoke out. Right now, what he's doing, is normal to him and his lifestyle. So it's going to be hard for him to notice that there is a problem, especially when you haven't (if you haven't) tried to full on talk to him about it. Show him how much this is upsetting you, show him how much he means to you, and show him how much you love him. Sometimes we just need a little boost in our lives to show us there is something wrong. :) He still has the capability of opening up and changing, but these things take a bit of time.

Make him feel comfortable. Do things and talk about things that interest him. Don't move too fast within the relationship, and don't do anything that might make him feel uncomfortable around you. He definitely likes you if he's going out with you, right? He just needs a little time to change. The relationship has the capability to work out. Talk to him, talk to him, talk to him. I know it sounds like a generic answer, but just talk to him about anything and everything. About your life, his life, what's bothering you, him, why he's acting like this, etc. Anything. Just put forth a little more effort than you have been, and try to get him to do the same.

There is a point where you have to draw the line, but from the sounds of it, you're no where near it yet. Go out on dates here and there, express your love towards him, be romantic, and just allow him to progress as time goes on. You can't force him to change, you can only sit back and hope for the best. :) My best recommendation to you would be to stay calm and be yourself. Definitely if an issue arises. Never point out faults he has, unless it's trying to get him to talk more. Be yourself, and be prepared for anything. Who knows, one day he might just start talking. I wish you luck, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. :)
~Wayne

Posted at 4:37 pm on Nov. 6, 2009