What I recommend you do is just bring it up in normal conversation with him and be gentle about it when you do. Just use your own words and bring up your concerns and be truthful with him about this.  Now I would make sure that you tell your boyfriend that you know him and this girl are just friends, really close friends at that but you feel she is crossing the line by her behavior around him and that it makes you feel uncomfortable. He may feel that you are trying to choose who he can and can not be friends with because most times in a relationship when stuff like this is brought up that is exactly how the other person feels so I strongly suggest you  reassure him that is not what you are trying to do.

The biggest thing after you bring this up is you will have to deal with his reaction and there are many different ways he could react. He might just laugh and tell you that you are being silly and that there is nothing to worry about or he might agree with you and tell his friend to back off a little bit. he could very well get mad at you for bringing it up Because he may feel like you do not trust him. Now I will go ahead and tell you that you will not know how he is going to react until you actually sit down with him and talk this through. Do not just let it slide because you are afraid of how he will react because if you just let it go you will end up hurting yourself and possibly the relationship.

I would tell you to pull his friend aside and talk to her about it and if she is decent enough she would back off. Now I do recommend doing this unless you absolutely have to because this could cause tension between all three of you and his friend may see you as a controlling girlfriend and tell your boyfriend that. I can not say how she will react though.

At the end of the day though you may just have to get used to it and accept it because it is all about trust.  there will always be girls touching your boyfriend and trying to get with him in some form or the other and it is not always sexual. It would not matter if the entire school was in love with your boyfriend because he has done made the commit meant to be with you. You do need to trust him through this because without trust you can not have a relationship.  If he cares about you and all I doubt he has even noticed the signs this girl is giving off.

I hope this advice helps you and if you ever need someone to talk too my in-box is always open.

~Cadet Jones~

Posted at 7:55 am on Nov. 7, 2009

Since that's the case I 100% agree that you should talk to him about it. He's your boyfriend therefore he should feel like he can be completely honest with you.

Truthfully, depending on his and her friendship it might actually mean nothing. People have friends that they are very "touchy-feely" with. Its not necessarily a bad thing but you should be comforable enough in your relationship to be able to tell him if its making you uncomfortable.

If he assures you that they're just close friends then I would let it be unless there started to be more signs of there being something more. If more than that shows then you should simply ask him to stop the way he acts with her. You're not asking too much because honestly most girls would get more upset over this. Don't worry, its only normal to worry about this type of thing. Good luck.

Posted at 4:02 am on Nov. 5, 2009

Obviously, as his girlfriend, it's natural to be curious about this girl. I know I would be.

My main suggestion would be to talk to him about it. I wouldn't have thought he would have any real problem about it, especially seeing as it probably really isn't a big deal.

I wouldn't have thought this girl was anything to worry about. She's more than likely just a close friend, there are a lot less personal boundaries between close friends, and often we can mistake these for signs of love when they are just signs of affection. Jealousy is an ugly beast which rears its head often; trust me, I know the feeling.

I really wouldn't worry about it too much. Bring it up casually with him at the next opportunity, and I'm sure it'll just reveal itself to be one of those silly little things you worried about over nothing.

Tell him how it makes you feel though, and it should give him some idea that he needs to bring in boundaries with girls. He needs to take into account how some of his actions (however harmless) may make you feel.

Good luck, and if you need to talk, please feel free to PM me.

*Matt

Posted at 6:03 pm on Nov. 4, 2009

As his girlfriend, I think you have every right to bring it up with him...just be careful how you do. She is his friend, so chances are if you go in too strong and start attacking her he might get defensive and fiht against you.

My advice would be to bring it up gently, obviously in your own words and bring up your own concerns, but you could start by saying that him and *insert friend's name here* seem to be good friends, close friends. I'd make sure I told him that I understand that they are just friends and nothing more, but you think she's crossing the line by getting so physically close and that it's making you uncomfortable. He might worry that you're trying to choose his friends for him, so it'd be a good idea to reassure him that you're not.

After you do bring it up, you are going to have to deal with his reaction. He might say you're being silly and forget about it, he might agree and tell the friend to back off, or he might even get mad at you for bringing it up. You won't know how he's going to react until you do talk about it, but if it's bothering you so much you really need to bring it up before it starts causing tension between you both. The alternative is that you could pull her aside and gently bring it up with her. Being another female she might understand how you're feeling, and if she's a decent enough person she will stop the behaviour.

In the end though, you may also just need to get used to it. It's all about trust. There will always be girls touching your boyfriend, in some way or form, and it's not always sexual. It doesn't matter if the entire school were desperately in love with your boyfriend, the thing is he's with you. He's taken the commitment to be with you and you need to trust him through this. From what you've described it's only her making these gestures, so maybe he hasn't even noticed it. We all know guys can be a little, err....slow, when it comes to hints from girls, so just go easy on him.

I wish you the best of luck, and if you need to talk feel free to send me a message.

Posted at 5:16 pm on Nov. 4, 2009