I also agree where they say Jerrod has some issues he needs to work through himself. Perhaps you should tell someone, like his parent, or an adult you trust, what's going on with him. I know you think that because he's your friend and because you like him you need to support him, but you'll be better supporting him pointing him in the right direction. You've got your own problems to deal with, as rude as it may sound, and you don't need his.

If your ex  hates you, he probably isn't going to change his attitude about that anytime soon, so I'd say it's best to move on. It's good that you want to be friends with him, but is it worth it? If you two do become friends again, how long is that going to last? Is he the kind of person who changes at the drop of a hat? I'm not trying to be rude, but think things through fully first. I  know you may really like him and want him to be part of your life, but if he isn't worth it, he's only going to drag you down.

You're really stressed out at the moment, anyway, and I don't think a relationship is something you need right now. If you want one, that's up to you, but I think you'd be better off single for a while, at least until things start to get better.

I think you should find something to do when you feel stressed, so you can take a bit of the edge off; something besides cutting. A lot of people do it, and while it might actually make you feel better for a while, it doesn't really help in the long run. Perhaps you could try something else, like reading, or writing, exercise, cooking, punching a pillow, running, cleaning, or even trying the rubber band around the wrist trick. I hear that has a lot of success.

Remember, things can't stay the same forever, and they're bound to change, but every little bit of effort you put in yourself helps. Find someone you can talk to- an adult. Someone at church, someone at school, an aunt or an uncle, someone at a youth group.

I hope things work out for you, I'll be praying.

Hana

Posted at 9:59 am on Nov. 10, 2009

It sounds like you're going through quite the rough spell. I get that it can feel like you're completely alone at times, but remember, you are NEVER alone.

Your parents love you, I can guarantee that. From what's going on, I'd say its pretty safe to assume that they are VERY worried about you. After all, you're their baby. No matter how old we get, we are always our parent's baby. Its only natural that they'd be concerned. This doesn't mean they don't love you, but it may just be that they're not sure how to show it right now, because their concern is so prominent.

It sounds like your friend Jerrod has some issues he needs to work through himself. It's clear that you're worried about him, but you need to realize its not you're job to hold everyone up on their feet. It's great that you have enough compassion to be so worried about your friend, but you need to TELL him that you're worried. You have to keep in mind, people don't change unless they want to. I definitely think you should tell him you're worried, and let him know you care and are there for him, but you also need to let go of your supportive instinct just a little, so you can work on your own task.

As for your ex Adam, I've always tried to look at it that if they're not treating you 100% with love, they're not REALLY worth perusing as a long term relationship. If it's not working out between you two, that's one thing, but he doesn't need to call you a poser. Name calling is just not nice, and is only magnifying the situation. Keep in mind, sometimes two people that work great together as friends don't work in a romantic relationship. There's nothing wrong with that at all, but realistically, that may just be the case here. Friendship may be a better option for both of you.

If you want to be friends, that's great!! You may need to be the motivator on that one though. Even send a text or an email. Just tell him you would like to be friends, but you understand that it will take time to get settled after the split, and for him to call or text you if he's ok with talking to you. It will leave the door open for a friendship, but not be too pushy. Keep in mind hun, even on the BEST of terms, a breakup can take some time to develop into a friendship. Patience is key on this one.

As for your cutting, it's not a problem to be taken lightly. I understand it can be hard to stop, but it's really important that you find other outlets for stress where possible. There are lots of safe ways to handle stress, with the same relief effect that cutting gives. If you're wanting to cut, try something else. You could listen to music, write in a journal, watch TV, call a friend, clean your room, make a snack, go for a walk (exercise is a GREAT stress release), draw on paper, or anything else calming to you.

In addition to trying to find an outlet, its important to tackle the issue of WHY you're feeling the need to cut. If you don't start working on what's bothering you so much, its going to be even harder to stop. Whether this means you talk to a friend or a close family member, a school counselor, a therapist, or whoever else, the bottom line is that you need to start helping yourself get better. Only you can change you.

Remember: You ARE loved, and you are NOT alone, EVER. It may feel like you have the weight of the world on you, but it's ok to pass some of the weight and ask for help when you need it.

I hope this helps a little, and feel free to PM me if I can help any further.

CrackerJax

Posted at 3:02 pm on Nov. 3, 2009